


A Game of Scones

by astrangerenters



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter is coming. Which means that Countdown is coming, and Johnny-san is still undecided about this year's hosts. The situation turns Johnny against Johnny, debuted group against debuted group as they conspire against and manipulate one another. Because when you play the game of scones, you win or you die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely on A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

**Chapter 1: Winter is Coming**

In principle, Nakamaru Yuichi didn't like to follow Kame's orders. For one, Kame was not the boss of him, and for two...

Okay, maybe there wasn't a two since the whole "Kame was not the boss of him" point was obvious enough. But since he was already in the area that day, Kame's order was more a suggestion than an order, he supposed. He was currently in Osaka for a cousin's wedding that weekend, and the Kansai TV studios weren't exactly out of his way. It took a lot of finagling at the front desk to convince them that yes, he was in Johnny's. That yes, he was not only in Johnny's but in a debuted Johnny's group. And that yes, he actually did know the members of Kanjani8.

But once they believed him they proceeded to give him a visitor's badge with only a flash of his driver's license, so overall he guessed that security was a bit more lax down here. He waited in the Kanjani8 green room, pacing nervously as his phone kept pinging with irritating messages from Kame. "Did you talk to them yet?" "Well, did you?" "What the hell is taking so long?" "What kind of food are they serving at the wedding? Anything good?" "Do they know anything????"

Finally, the members came back after their Janiben filming, welcoming him immediately. "Nakamaru, what the hell are you doing here?" Murakami asked, looking at him as though he had sprouted a second head.

But it was after filming, and Nakamaru had suspected correctly - the members had plans to go drinking. He got himself invited along, crammed into a booth between a grinning Maruyama and a boisterous Yasuda. Nakamaru had played enough survival games to know that you couldn't show your hand right away. It was all about strategy. He waited until the third round of drinks before trying to grill the Kansai boys for information.

"Nakamaru, you've hardly touched your beer," Murakami growled. "I'm not going to pay for that."

Nakamaru only took out his cell phone, scrolling down to a message from an unknown sender. "Gentlemen, can any of you tell me the meaning of this message?"

He held out the phone and six pairs of slightly droopy-with-drink eyes blinked at the tiny screen that bore a short message. The subject line only said "Countdown" and the contents?

 _Winter is coming._

"Ugh!" Yasuda complained. "You guys are getting these, too?"

Nakamaru snapped his phone closed. "Wait, you know what this message is about? You know who it's from?" And Kame had thought that KAT-TUN had been especially singled out.

Each member of Kanjani8 held out their phones in near-unison (save for Nishikido, who was back in Tokyo filming what had to be his fourteenth drama series of the year and Shibutani, who was staring at the ceiling in apparent wonderment). Each phone had the same message from the unknown sender: _"Winter is coming."_

"So this has to do with Countdown?" Nakamaru asked.

"Well, that's the subject line," Ohkura noted, trying to flag down their waitress in hopes of getting another round of beers brought over.

Murakami looked grave, fingers stroking his chin. "We suspect that there's going to be some competition this year."

Competition, Nakamaru thought. This was the last thing that Kame needed to hear. "What kind of competition?"

Yokoyama sighed. "To host. Tackey and Tsubasa can't, Kinki's apparently not interested this year..."

Nakamaru narrowed his eyes. "So we're all expected to do what?" His phone was burning a hole in his pocket with its stupid message. Winter was coming, and why did it really matter who actually hosted Countdown?

"It doesn't mattter," Murakami continued. "Because we'll probably be at Kyocera Dome again anyway. Whoever sent those messages is being a dick. They'd never let us host at Tokyo Dome, are you kidding?"

"It's more fun here anyhow," Maruyama agreed with a smile. "We get awesome costumes that they'd never let us wear in Tokyo!"

Nakamaru distinctly remembered all of Kanjani suiting up in sushi costumes the year before, but then again, they'd always had a different idea of fun than Nakamaru had. He downed his beer. It had been a good year for Kanjani so far, but them hosting Countdown would be odd. It would never happen, and knowing that they weren't going to try and push for it left a spot for Kame and his damn competitive spirit. Which just meant more work for Nakamaru.

"You're sure you're not going to bother with the...competition?" he asked them.

"Nope," Murakami assured him. "It's all yours."

"Good to know," Nakamaru said. They'd helped him, provided him with information. It was probably his turn to buy a round. Instead, he excused himself from the booth. He had to report back to his group. Well, as soon as the wedding was over tomorrow. "I have to use the bathroom."

Shibutani held up his phone. "Doesn't winter come every year?"

Nakamaru could hear the noisy THWACK delivered by Murakami as he snuck off to the bathroom and out the bar's back door.

\--

Yokoyama Yu hadn't expected the message from his brother Mitsuru that morning: "there's people posting on 4chan saying that Kanjani's going to host Countdown this year. don't you usually just stay in Osaka for that now?"

Winter was coming, Yoko feared, and the Internet was lighting up with gossip. To Yoko's knowledge, there'd never been any competition to host Countdown before. It was just a fun thing that they all did, and Kanjani stayed in Osaka to save their senpai from having to give them New Years' money. But could it actually be true? Would Johnny-san demand they host?

Yoko didn't have a problem with hosting because Yoko didn't really have a problem with talking. Even tonight the group was set to perform on Music Station to promote their latest single, and Yoko had spent hours in front of the mirror that morning honing the many embarrassing stories he could tell Tamori-san about his bandmates. But what if Tamori-san asked them about Countdown? Hina, however, was having none of it.

Rehearsal was in twenty minutes, and he and Hina were in the green room waiting. The others were already out checking out the stage set-up. "I don't like this," Hina complained, pacing the floor. "All this Countdown talk. We don't need to host at Tokyo Dome. I don't want to host at Tokyo Dome. Somebody's trying to start a fight."

He nodded. "But if they tell us to host, we have to, you know. We can't just say, 'sorry Johnny-san, but can't you make V6 do it?' because next year we'd be doing Countdown live from some back alley begging for change. Filming ourselves with a camera phone that we'd then have to burn for warmth."

Hina scowled at him. "Well, enough already then. The more we talk about it, the angrier I get. We're busy enough, you know."

There was a knock at the door, hopefully a manager with some snacks! "Come on in," Yoko said, hoping for something good.

But what he hadn't expected was for Aiba Masaki to enter, closing the door behind him and throwing the lock. "Helloooo," Aiba said with that look in his eye that had always gotten Yoko into way too much trouble when they were younger. Or last month when they'd been asked to leave a karaoke place for somehow submerging their microphones in a fish tank.

"What do you want?" Hina asked him by way of greeting, and Aiba only looked crazier. Yoko instinctively knew when Aiba was having a crazy time. There was the slightest twitch to his eye - Aiba couldn't wink, but he sure could twitch like a drug addict needing a fix. Not that Yoko knew a lot of drug addicts.

"Oh, I just wanted to say hello. By now the rest of Arashi has arrived here at TV Asahi," Aiba hinted in a friendly voice. "Just seeing what's up."

"But why are you here?" Hina insisted, rolling his eyes. "Don't you guys have a thousand commercials or tv shows to film?"

Aiba walked up to Yoko, resting a hand on his shoulder. "We're just here to talk a little business. Countdown business."

Hina grabbed a pillow from the green room couch and flung it at Aiba. It thunked against his arm and hit the linoleum, but Aiba was unfazed. "Did Arashi send those messages? All this winter is coming crap?"

Aiba smirked. "Uh, no." Aiba yanked his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and wiggled it in his hand. "We all got them, too. I think it would have been nicer if it had said 'Aiba-chan's birthday is coming', but I guess the sender thinks Countdown is more important."

"Countdown is definitely more important than your birthday," Hina said with a long-suffering sigh.

Aiba shrugged, still trying to sound utterly serious even as Yoko knew he was suppressing a giggle fit. Aiba's crazy time usually transitioned into that anyway. "Whatever you say. But I'm here to talk business. So Arashi's going to host this year."

"What?" Yoko exclaimed. "How? You guys were hosting Kouhaku last year, and all you did was prance around on the roof of NHK for Countdown. Aren't they going to ask you to host Kouhaku again anyhow?"

But now Hina was starting to look worried. Hina was starting to look affonted. "Double duty? You can't be serious."

Aiba only giggled. "Ambitious, I know. But it would be like, five hours straight of Arashi. My mom would be so excited!"

"So this is all about your mom now?" Yoko complained.

Aiba squeezed his shoulder. Hard. "It's about cooperation, Yokocho," Aiba insisted. "Because you'll all be down in Osaka right? At the dome? We go back a long time, the three of us."

Hina made for the door. "Aiba-chan, you are not a yakuza. You are not the least bit threatening, and we're here for work."

"Oh, you won't be late for rehearsal," Aiba said. "Arashi's in the building, chatting with friends. They'll delay rehearsal for hours."

Yoko was confused. "Okay, wait. So what are you actually here for?"

Aiba let him go, crossing his arms. "I'm sure Leader's got Maru's ear by now. It's only a matter of time before the rest of your group understands what we need you to do."

"And what is that exactly?" Hina asked, looking ready to beat Aiba to a bloody pulp. Yoko was increasingly worried - all this time Hina had been dead-set on having nothing to do with the Countdown mess.

"Arashi hosts Countdown. And Kanjani8 stays in Osaka," Aiba explained. "Even if Johnny asks you to host, you will decline."

Well, it didn't sound all that strange to Yoko. But Hina's face had changed. He was now officially pissed off. This was not going to end well at all.

"Anyhow," Aiba said, reverting to his usual goofy demeanor in a split second, almost as if he had some strange personality disorder. "Good luck tonight. We'll be cheering you on." And with that he left, shutting the door behind him.

Yoko was still disappointed that nobody had brought them food. "Well? It's not like they were going to host at Kyocera too, right?"

Hina looked downright scary. "They think they can push us around, huh? Winter is coming," he said gravely, "and maybe this year Kanjani8 should host at the Tokyo Dome."

\--

They watched Kanjani8 rehearse their Music Station performance, and Ninomiya Kazunari had about twenty other things he'd rather be doing. Ten of them involved sleeping. But Jun was at his side, and there was no escaping him. Nino prided himself on being impish and clever. It was his main selling point as an idol, and on any given day, he'd find a clever way out of this situation, but there was no Ninomiya Kazunari, adorable imp when it came to something like Countdown. There was only Ninomiya Kazunari, one-fifth of Arashi. And that meant that he had to back his bandmates in every stupid endeavor.

Jun and Sho especially seemed to think that it had been too long since they'd hosted Countdown. The fans wanted to see them host, or at least it was what the pair of them had deluded themselves into thinking. And what the two strong-minded members wanted somehow became what the group wanted, at least since they'd gotten those strange messages on their phones. The group wouldn't be where they were without the many years they'd spent working for a common purpose, and for that they owed a debt to the fans who'd supported them. And Arashi always paid their debts.

Even now Jun had a hand on his shoulder, pressing down. "Kanjani's had a good year," he said, "but they've got a good thing going at the Kyocera Dome. I think it's only fair they continue to be there for the Kansai fans at New Year's."

"Uh huh," Nino responded, smirking as an obviously angered Murakami kept missing cues. "I think Aiba must have gotten Hina all riled up."

"Doesn't take much to do that," Jun decided. "They'll play ball. Yoko does whatever Aiba says."

But Nino wasn't entirely convinced. Threatening Kanjani had been a stupid plan, something that could have been far more easily smoothed over by just buying them food. Not that Nino wanted to buy them anything. "We'll see."

Jun ruffled his hair as if he was some little kid. Nino distinctly remembered a time when he'd been taller than Jun, too. "We can count on you, right, Nino? Have you been doing your part for our research?"

He shrugged Jun off of him. "Of course I'm doing my part." He grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket and shoved it into Jun's hand. "Here, everyone my mother ever knew from culinary school."

"Now we'll be doubly prepared," Jun said with a smile. "Winter is coming."

\--

Everyone was eating their yakiniku in silence as the restaurant TV remained set on Himitsu no Arashi-chan. It was times like these, Koyama Keiichiro thought, that made him long for the good old days. The Soukon days. But everyone else was too busy shoving food in their mouths. He'd been eyeing his phone for days now, unable to look away from the ominous "Winter is coming" message that he and his other bandmates had received.

It wasn't very often that he was able to get all of NEWS together - and of course Ryo-chan had had to cancel at the last minute to do some re-shoots for his drama. But five out of six wasn't bad, and they had to talk about this. Yamapi could just tell Ryo later. He looked at his phone one last time before setting it back down on the table.

Tegoshi looked across the table and smiled at him. "Can I have some more, Kei-chan?" Tegoshi asked, and Koyama knew that protesting would be pointless. He had barely nodded his assent before Tegoshi already had his chopsticks on the last of Koyama's portion. "Thank youuuu."

Himitsu no Arashi-chan went to commercial, showing an ad for beer set high up in the mountains. Mountains. Snow. Cold. Winter was coming. Winter was coming. _Winter was coming_. Koyama shut his eyes, finally slamming his fist on the table. "Okay, listen up." Everyone turned to look, confused. "There's a reason I invited you all out tonight."

"I hope that reason includes you paying for us," Shige said, adding some more meat to the grill.

Koyama sighed. "Yeah, I'll pay, but only if you'll hear me out."

"Let's listen then," Yamapi said agreeably, and Koyama was thankful to have him in his corner, at least for as long as the plates of beef kept arriving.

He tapped his phone. "I trust that all of you have received the message about Countdown."

Massu smiled. "Secret messages! Maybe it means next year will be a big year for NEWS!"

Tegoshi shook his head, munching blissfully on Koyama's food. "No way, that's not what it means. It's just about Countdown."

Shige wrinkled his nose. "Countdown's just an excuse for the senpai to bully us. And for everyone to awkwardly stumble through Shounentai songs we don't really know for the thousandth time."

"Not this year," Koyama said defiantly. He rose to his feet, giving Tegoshi an excuse to grab his beer and finish it as well. "This year, I think NEWS will host the Countdown."

Nobody said anything for a few moments until Yamapi flagged down the waitress to order five more plates of meat.

"I'm serious!" Koyama protested, giving what he hoped was his most serious expression (though the six beers he'd consumed prior to standing up were not helping). "I think these messages are a call to arms. We haven't gotten to do much together lately. And I miss you guys. So what do you say? Let's go ask Johnny-san!"

More silence, followed by Tegoshi smiling his way into snagging some freshly grilled veggies from Massu's plate.

Yamapi set down his chopsticks, looking downright Leader-like for a moment as he crossed his arms. And if Koyama needed anyone to go to Johnny-san with him to argue their case, it was definitely Yamapi. "Kei-chan..."

"Yes?"

He leaned forward, nearly knocking over his beer glass. "Do you really think Johnny-san would pick us over the other groups?"

"What's wrong with NEWS? We used to have a lot of sway, you know! We've got everything that Arashi and V6 and Kanjani8 have!" Koyama protested. He pointed to Tegoshi. "We have looks." He pointed to Shige. "Brains." To himself. "Charisma." To Massu. "...uh, plus, we have Massu."

"Hey!" Massu complained.

Yamapi nodded. "If you're serious, we'll back you on this..."

"...do we have to?" Shige mumbled.

Koyama's heart was about to burst. He could address the whole Tokyo Dome. Koyama Keiichiro and NEWS, leading everyone into the New Year! "That's great! Isn't that great?"

But Yamapi held up a hand for silence. "We'll back you, but we're not enough. Be reasonable. We're going to need help."

"Help?" Massu asked. "How do you mean?"

But the hamster wheel in Tegoshi's head was spinning. "I like the way you think, Yamapi. We need partners."

"We have each other!" Koyama insisted, stomping his feet. "We've got Ryo-chan, too!"

Yamapi wrapped an arm around Tegoshi's shouders in solidarity. "We need to call in the big guns. One group hosting Countdown would be boring. I think we need to co-host with some senpais. It's the only way Johnny-san will pick us over someone else."

"But who?" Koyama asked.

Tegoshi was already ten steps ahead. He smiled and clinked glasses with Yamapi. "I think we need TOKIO."

\--

He and Subaru were the last ones heading out of the Kanjani dressing room, and a car was waiting to take them home. It had been the strangest Music Station filming Yasuda Shota had ever attended. Arashi had shown up, twirling their invisible evil mustaches. It was all very dramatic, Yasu thought, and Sho-kun had personally come up to him for a chat.

"Ah Yasuda," Sho-kun had said. "We've always been so happy when Kanjani8 performed our songs at the Kyocera Dome. We'd love for you to do another relay broadcast this year. Maybe this year Kanjani could perform Monster."

And Yasu had to admit that it would be fun to try. Imagine the dance moves! Imagine all the pyro! Imagine all the bling on the costumes! But something had felt a bit off about Arashi's appearance that day. Sho-kun had been a little too friendly. As though Kanjani not hosting Countdown was a fact though it hadn't been decided. As though Arashi was going to host, which seemed kind of presumptuous. Not that he liked to think that Arashi had bad intentions, they were just used to being popular. Yasu could understand that.

He and Subaru were halfway to the car when Subaru gasped like a dead fish.

"What's wrong?" Yasu asked, shaking his friend by the shoulder. "Are you dying? Oh my god, Shibuyan, are you dying?"

But Subaru turned around, squeezing his hand. "I...forgot...my hat!"

Yasu sighed in relief. "You're freaking out like that over a hat."

Subaru looked forlorn. "But it was vintage..."

If this continued, Subaru was going to be whimpering and whining the whole car ride back, depending on who got dropped off first, and Yasu couldn't bear it. "Well, we can go back and get it? Do you remember where you left it?"

Subaru shrugged. "Inside?"

Yasu closed his eyes and counted to three. "Okay. Okay, let's go back inside and find it. Go tell the driver, and I'll get a head start, okay?"

Subaru's smile covered his whole face. "You're the best. What would I do without you?"

"It's okay," Yasu said, blushing slightly. It felt good to help his bandmates. He'd already found Yoko's wallet four times that day and returned it to him each time with a smile, so finding Subaru's hat would be a cake walk. He headed back to the TV Asahi entrance, planning to waltz back in when a security guard stopped him.

"I'm sorry, no unauthorized entry," the guard said.

He used his best idol smile. "I'm with Kanjani8. We just recorded Music Station inside."

The guard eyed him suspiciously, eyes looking with disdain at Yasu's rainbow cowboy hat and his bright pink and purple t-shirt and his green harem pants and yellow suede boots. Okay, to the untrained eye, Yasu might have looked like an escapee from the mental hospital, but that was just because people didn't understand how awesome he looked. In five years when everyone was wearing rainbow cowboy hats with green harem pants, Yasu would just have to forgive them.

"Yasuda Shota," he said politely. "From Kanjani8. One of my bandmates left his hat behind. May I please retrieve it?"

The guard shook his head. "Sorry, no unauthorized entry."

Well, that sucked. And Subaru still hadn't returned from the car, so it was up to Yasu to get inside some other way. He thanked the guard anyway and headed around the building, doing his best not to look suspicious. He trampled a few plants, finally spying an open window on the first floor. Yasuda thanked his lucky stars for his athleticism. Though the harem pants would slow him down, he knew he had what it took to get in there. Subaru's hat was on the line here! He looked left. He looked right. And he started to climb.

Thankfully he was on the far side of the building, so nobody noticed a Kanjani8 member scaling the wall, brick by brick. It also helped that it was dark outside. He got his fingers onto the windowsill and was just about to haul himself inside when he heard the moan.

And Yasu had watched enough pornographic movies to know just what kind of moan that was. His eyes widened as he poked his cowboy hatted-head over the sill, eyes widening at the sight before him. It wasn't possible. These two? When Ninomiya and Oh-chan played grab ass in public, it was _these two_?

He could only gape in shock as Sakurai Sho sat back on the couch in one of the green rooms inside the TV Asahi building, his eyes shut as a dark-haired man knelt on the floor before him, quite obviously giving him a fantastic blowjob. And that dark-haired man was none other than his bandmate, Matsumoto Jun.

"...feels so good," Sho-kun was moaning. The very same Sho-kun who had come up to Yasu earlier that day, all prim and proper and business-like. His hand was tight in Matsujun's hair, and Yasu knew he'd intruded on an intensely private moment. He had to find another way into the building. He didn't need Subaru finding him and calling out to him or anything.

So Yasu was just about to climb back down when his boot scraped against the brick a little too hard, and Sho-kun opened his eyes to look straight at him. "Matsujun," Sakurai hissed.

"What?" Matsujun complained, instantly irritable.

"Matsujun, stop!" Sho wrenched Jun's face away from his crotch and zipped up immediately. Yasu was still stunned, unable to move now that he'd been caught watching something he had absolutely no business watching.

And of course, it didn't help that the first words out of his mouth were, "Sho-kun, I swear I didn't see anything."

Matsujun got off his knees with a sigh, wiping his mouth and walking up to the window. "Yasuda, what the hell are you doing?"

"Well...well, you see, Matsujun...I...I...Shibuyan...Shibuyan's hat..."

"Shibutani left his stupid hat?" Sho screeched. "And you couldn't just go back in the front door?! Macchan, he saw us."

"Sho-kun, calm down," Matsujun snapped at him. "Yasu didn't see anything."

"I didn't! I was just looking for Shibuyan's hat, I swear! I won't tell anyone what I didn't see!" he pleaded.

Sho-kun, the Sho-kun he'd admired for so long, didn't necessarily agree. Yasu wouldn't tell anyone. He really wouldn't! There was nothing wrong with being gay anyhow! People were always assuming that Yasu was gay, and it didn't bother him. It seemed that Mr. Newscaster Sakurai Sho actually was, though. And in some sort of sexual relationship within his own group. It was kind of incestuous, Yasu thought. Everyone always said that Arashi was close, but they had no idea.

"Give me your hand then," Matsujun said. "Before you fall."

Yasu grabbed hold of Matsujun's hand and held on tight.

"Matsujun, what are you doing?" Sho howled. "Think of our careers, you idiot!"

Yasu looked pleadingly between Sakurai and Matsumoto, begging them not to be angry. And all this because Subaru couldn't remember his hat! He'd probably be hauled aside by one of Arashi's managers, given some sort of gag order. Not that he'd ever say anything. Showbiz was tough! And being gay in showbiz was even tougher. He had no judgment! He smiled, willing to do whatever they asked. So long as Jun stopped letting him dangle in the air. But what he didn't expect was Matsujun's long-suffering sigh.

"The things I do for love," Matsujun said, wrenching Yasu's fingers off of his wrist and giving him a shove. And then Yasu was falling, falling, falling and the ground rose to meet him.

 

 **Chapter 2: A Dance With Dragons**

Koyama's hand was tight around his wrist, and if Tegoshi Yuya didn't know any better, it seemed that Kei-chan was angry. But it made sense, since Koyama had paid for a very expensive meal with NEWS a few nights back, and he'd most likely be footing the bill for this "business meeting" at one of Nagase-senpai's favorite restaurants.

The Meat Locker was famous for its American-sized portions, and Tegoshi knew he had a date with the treadmill come morning. But for now, he was supposed to be on his best behavior. That meant, Kei-chan had said, no begging for TOKIO's food. No whining. No phone calls, even if it was a really hot girl on the line. But it was a sacrifice Tegoshi was willing to make. After all, if NEWS could co-host the Countdown, it meant more face time on TV, and it had been a long time since Soukon. Sure, ItteQ had its perks, but it was more fun being on TV to sing and dance rather than being forced to jump out of helicopters.

Massu was with them, too, mostly for moral support. And Taichi-san would also be in attendance to broker whatever deal NEWS would be making with them. As they entered the restaurant, Koyama held him back. "You're cute," Koyama said.

"Ah, thanks Kei-chan, so I've been told," Tegoshi admitted, immediately suspicious about his bandmate's attitude.

"Just remember that you're cute, and Nagase-senpai apparently likes cute things."

"Since when?" He never remembered Nagase mentioning anything like that when they'd worked together before.

"Since I've heard it through the grapevine," Koyama assured him, running his fingers through Tegoshi's hair and pinching his cheeks to bring out some color. "So just...be cute, okay?"

Tegoshi crossed his arms. "Are you pimping me out? Because I feel very used right now."

"Listen up and listen good," Koyama threatened, and in all their years together, he had never heard the man address anyone that way. He meant business. "I'm going to host Countdown. I don't care if I have to pimp you to every member of TOKIO and their entire fan club, I will be hosting Countdown this year, Tegoshi."

Tegoshi raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean _NEWS_ will be hosting Countdown, Kei-chan?"

"...same thing."

"Hey," Massu called from the inside of the restaurant. "They're waiting for us!"

"Just...don't screw this up, okay?" Koyama asked, reverting back to his usual pleasant self. Tegoshi was definitely weirded out. So this wasn't really a formal meeting at all, was it? They weren't just going to be sneaky little kohai and beg TOKIO to help them. They were going to make it into some creepy game. Whatever, Tegoshi thought. There were worse things in the world.

Nagase was already gnawing on some ribs when they entered, muttering some unintelligible greeting while Koyama slimed his way next to Taichi-san, making all sorts of apologies for being late and for being rude. Tegoshi sat down beside Nagase, Massu on his other side.

They made it through three meat courses before Taichi set down his fork and eyed Koyama. "So you want TOKIO to co-host the Countdown with you? You do realize we'll be at Kouhaku. We go all the time. It would be incredibly inconvenient for us if we get scheduled late in the Kouhaku broadcast."

"But it would mean so much to us if you'd help," Koyama said, batting his eyes like some junior high school girl. Tegoshi only brought over an empty plate so Nagase could dump another finished rib bone onto it. He felt Nagase's barbecue sauce-laden hand slap him on the back in gratitude, and Tegoshi immediately regretted wearing his designer skull hoodie to the restaurant. He'd make Kei-chan pay for the dry cleaning.

Taichi pulled out a stack of papers. "This is a contract that says TOKIO will do its best to see that NEWS is named hosts this year. Now to be honest with you, we aren't Johnny-san's favorites, so I don't know what your goal was here..."

Massu smiled. "We just like you guys."

Taichi rolled his eyes. "Wow, you should be an actor, Masuda." Taichi slid the papers across the table for Koyama to examine. Nagase didn't participate in the negotiations, instead accepting the mini-flosser Tegoshi handed him from his bag to clean bits of meat from between his teeth.

Koyama flipped through the papers eagerly. "So all we have to do..."

"...is let Nagase employ Tegoshi as a slave through the end of the year."

"What?!" Tegoshi screeched, immediately thankful that they were in a private room in the restaurant. He wasn't just getting pimped out for some one off...whatever. He was going to be Nagase's little chew toy for months?! He had his phone in his hand. He was going to call Yamapi. This was wrong!

Massu laughed. "You're kidding, right?" He smiled at Nagase. "It's a joke?"

Nagase shook his head, belching and then rubbing his belly after a satisfying meat-filled evening. "I won janken. I got to pick what I wanted." He leered at Tegoshi as he ran the mini-flosser between two of his bottom teeth. "I picked you, little one."

Tegoshi wanted to fall through the floor. Or stab Kei-chan in his stupid face with Nagase's steak knife. Either or. He was a person, not a commodity. Even if he was adorable, this wasn't right! "I...I don't want to be a slave," he muttered, looking for Massu to help him. Massu just looked confused.

Taichi cracked his knuckles. "It's all there in writing. I mean, you can always go talk to V6. I'm sure Sakamoto would give you all similar terms. I can see it now, all six of you working in the Nagano family bike shop for no pay. Babysitting for Inocchi. I'm sure Sakamoto can think of plenty of ways to make you useful."

"Or?" Tegoshi asked.

"One of you could take one for the team. Nagase won't be too mean," Taichi assured him with a smile. "Will you, Tomoya?"

Nagase grinned and ruffled Tegoshi's hair. "I'll let you use my bath salts! They smell great!"

Tegoshi narrowed his eyes at Koyama, finger still hovering over the speed dial to Yamapi. "Kei-chan, don't do this for your own stupid ambition. I'm a human being."

"Bath salts, though," Massu pointed out.

"Do we have an accord?" Taichi asked, holding out a pen.

Koyama didn't even bother looking Tegoshi's way as he signed the ridiculous contract. "It's a pleasure doing business with you, senpai."

\--

Maruyama Ryuhei was just glad they didn't have any activities scheduled for a few days, and thus far, the press hadn't gotten word about Yasu's accident. And it was a bizarre accident, too, everyone thought. Maru had gotten a phone call from a hysterical Subaru, babbling about his hat and about Yasu and then more about his hat.

By the time he reached the hospital, the rest of Kanjani8 was gathered around Yasu's bedside looking forlorn. Maru moved to his bandmate's side, next to Hina, who looked grave. "What happened?" Maru asked. "Is he going to be okay?"

Hina nodded. "Yeah, I mean, they found him in a bush outside TV Asahi. What the hell was he doing? They guessed that he might have fallen, but all the windows were shut, so they have no idea why he was climbing."

Subaru was tangled up against Ryo-chan, blubbering. "Maybe my hat was stuck on a windowsill," Subaru cried, "I don't know, he was just trying to help me!"

"You're getting my jacket wet," Ryo complained, but didn't shove Subaru away.

Maru grabbed hold of Yasu's hand. "Is he going to die?"

Yasu opened his eyes and scowled at him. "You know, I'm trying to sleep here."

Hina immediately smacked Yasu on his bandage-wrapped head, and Maru helped Tacchon to restrain him. "You can't hit him now," Yoko shouted. "He's got a head injury!"

"For god's sake, he fell in a bush!" Hina complained. "He only has a concussion."

Yasu rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to die, Maru-chan. But thanks for caring. Unlike some people!"

"A bush, Yasuda!" Hina was still grumbling.

Tacchon sighed. "Okay, well now that you're awake, what the hell happened?"

"Well I was looking for Shibuyan's hat," Yasu explained as Ryo started flicking through the hospital TV channels. "And then I..."

"And then you?" Yoko asked.

Yasu's face grew solemn. "I...remember waking up here. In the hospital. And they told me I had a concussion."

"So you have no idea what happened?" Maru asked. "I mean, why were you trying to climb? Why did you fall?"

Yasu only looked more confused. "I guess...I don't know, I remember everything else. I remember performing and talking to Tamori-san and Arashi-san was there and..."

The hospital door slid open, and Maru smiled at the sight of Sakurai Sho entering with a bouquet of flowers. "Sho-kun!" everybody said, although Hina looked dubious at the Arashi member's sudden arrival.

"Ah, pardon my intrusion," he said, looking straight at Yasu. "I'm so glad to hear you're okay! The other members and I were so worried about you!"

Yasu seemed thrilled by the man's arrival. "Wow, Sho-kun, thank you!"

Yoko moved aside to let Sho pass and set the flowers on the bedside table. "He doesn't remember anything," Maru explained. "Was Arashi still there at TV Asahi? Did you see what happened?"

Sho shook his head, looking grim. "No, we'd already left. But that's awful, Yasuda-kun, you don't remember what happened?"

Yasu shook his head. "Nope! One minute I'm talking to Subaru, the next I'm waking up in a bush. Weird day!"

Maru saw a smile spread across Sho's face and thought it was almost odd for a moment, but he was probably just misreading it. "Ah, but you're okay now, aren't you?" Sho said, patting Yasu on the arm. "You're just fine."

Hina cleared his throat. "Well, yes, he's obviously fine. Thanks for checking in."

Maru blinked at the overly dismissive tone Hina was taking on. What was wrong with him? Sho-kun hadn't done anything wrong. He was always so busy, and he'd come all the way over to make sure Yasu was okay. This whole situation was weird.

But Sho didn't take any offense to it, giving another of his big-toothed smiles to the rest of the group. "Well, again, I'm glad Yasuda-kun is okay. And I look forward to working with you all again soon." Maru was surprised then when Sho looked straight at him. "Maruyama-kun, I'm sure our Leader will be in touch with you soon. Have a nice evening, everyone."

Yoko and Hina's eyes met across Yasu's hospital bed as soon as Sho had departed, Yasu looking between in them in confusion. "Did I miss something?" Yasu asked.

Hina only shook his head. "Someone will stay with you at all times," he told Yasu.

"What?" Ryo complained. "I don't have time to do that!"

Subaru gave Ryo a light smack and a warning look, and Yoko pulled up a chair and sat back down at Yasu's side. "Don't worry," Yoko said solemnly. "I'll stay here."

"But they're probably going to release me tomorrow," Yasu pointed out. "I'm fine, you know."

Hina smacked Yasu on his bandaged head again. "We're trying to be nice to you. Accept our kindness."

Tacchon just snorted, and Maru left the room with the others. It really had been a strange day. He wondered if Yasu would ever remember what had happened to him.

\--

The Great Wall was not the best Chinese restaurant Kamenashi Kazuya had ever been to, but it wasn't popular with the paparazzi. It was north in Saitama Prefecture, and who would actively track them down so far from the bright lights of Tokyo? Nobody, Kame knew, as the other KAT-TUN members reluctantly strolled in, joining him in the room at the rear of the restaurant.

Ueda looked annoyed in his black t-shirt and black jeans as he sat across from Kame and picked up a menu, and Koki and Junno arrived next, similarly dressed. It was all about strategy, couldn't they see that? Wearing all black showed their solidarity as a group, and their dedication to the cause at hand. Because, as Kame checked his phone for maybe the millionth time in the past few weeks, winter was coming and solidarity was what they needed most.

Finally, Nakamaru arrived, and of all the others, he seemed the least bothered by their dark clothing requirement, probably because he was used to dressing tactically for all his weird games in the forest. Kame called the group meeting to order by lightly tapping a soy sauce bottle against the wooden table. "Good evening everyone, thanks for coming all the way out here."

"You'd think one of us was fessing up to a scandal or something," Koki joked, scratching his face. Kame was impressed that Koki had even painted his nails black in honor of the occasion.

"I'd like to turn the floor over to Nakamaru, who has some news for us," Kame said.

Nakamaru set down the menu. "Well, I talked with the Kanjani8 members. They got the same stupid messages on their phones."

Aha, Kame thought. So the whole thing was a game. Winter was coming. Countdown was coming. Nakamaru continued. "So they think this whole thing's meant to pit us against each other to see who gets to host this year."

"Well, that seems kind of stupid," Taguchi said, "I mean, does it really matter who hosts? I thought it's all about having fun."

Kame laughed. "Are you serious? It totally matters who hosts. It shows that Johnny-san has a lot of faith in you."

"But Johnny-san's not exactly our best buddy right now," Koki said. "I mean, sure we've had singles and things this year but, I mean, just look at Arashi. Look at Kanjani8. It's going to be one of them."

Ueda called for the waitress. "I'm ordering."

"We're having a meeting," Kame complained.

"And I'm ordering," Ueda continued, suddenly smiling brightly as a pretty waitress came over. The meeting ground to a halt as everyone took their turn to flirt and smile and order egg rolls. Kame, however, asked for water with no offered fan service. Didn't these guys understand how important the opportunity to host could be? Didn't they even care?

"We're going to get Johnny-san to like us," Kame continued, pulling out his iPad to take notes.

"At the table, Kame?" Nakamaru grumbled. "Can't we just eat?"

"Yeah, we came all this way," Taguchi said, "I don't even want to host Countdown."

"And that attitude," Kame said, tapping through his apps, "is why we never will. And why we'll never be like Arashi or Kanjani8. Because we're going to keep pissing opportunities down our leg."

Koki set down his lemonade in disgust. "Dude."

Kame met each of their eyes in turn. "We're going to host Countdown. People are going to see that we're more than just this group of disparate personalities. I mean, if we do a good job, we might get another variety show. Cartoon KAT-TUN is over, and it's been over for a long time."

"I do kind of miss it," Taguchi agreed. "I miss getting to do stupid stuff like that with you guys."

"And if we keep messing around," Nakamaru decided, "it means we'll never get an opportunity like that again."

Ueda sighed. "Fine, fine. Let's try and host Countdown. With one caveat."

Kame stared at him. "And what caveat is that?"

Ueda grinned. "We do it our way."

The meal went rather smoothly after that. While the others wolfed down their food and drank heavily, Kame sat with his iPad and half an egg roll, typing up ideas on his iPad. "How to Make Johnny-san Like Us Again" was the name of the file, and he had at least a dozen ideas. Take Johnny-san golfing. Bake Johnny-san cupcakes. Tell Johnny-san that he is looking nice today...

Though the night had started on shaky ground, Kame felt a lot more positive as he headed out of the Great Wall, ready to keep brainstorming. As he watched Koki and Junno pile into a cab, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He waved them on ahead, ducking into an alley to answer.

"Hello?"

"Kame-chan."

Kame was confused. Why would this person be calling him? He hadn't called Kame since Ohno-san had painted his portrait. "Hello Ninomiya-san."

"Ah, Kame-chan, we're friendlier than that, aren't we?" Nino said, sounding a little buzzed on the other end of the line if Kame had to venture a guess. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Glad to hear it," Nino said. "Kame, tell me something. Have you been getting strange messages on your phone?"

What was this, Kame thought. Was Nino being overly chummy on purpose? Was he trying to finagle information out of him the same as when Kame had sent Nakamaru to talk to Kanjani8? Winter was definitely coming, Kame suddenly realized, and the stakes were higher than even he could have imagined.

"Strange messages?" Kame said, hoping he sounded convincing. Nino was pretty good at sniffing out lies. "I'm not sure what you're talking about. Is something the matter?"

"Oh no," Nino said sweetly. "Just curious. We should meet up, you and me. Arashi and KAT-TUN hardly work together. I mean, sometimes a year will go by and I'll only see you guys at Countdown, right?"

Alarm bells started going off in Kame's head. Hang up, he told himself. Hang up before you tell him anything! "Nino, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to call you back. Let's have lunch soon, okay? Okay, bye bye."

Kame snapped his phone closed quickly. Nino had come right out and asked about the strange messages - if Arashi had been the ones initiating the whole thing, surely Nino wouldn't have mentioned it. Unless that was Arashi's big bluff. Kame shut his eyes, worried.

The game was afoot, and Kame would have to do everything in his power to keep KAT-TUN in it.

\--

It was turning into a long week, and Murakami Shingo had had enough. Arashi's meddling and insinuations, Yasuda's strange tumble into a bush, and now a call from his landlord. His building was undergoing sudden fumigation for cockroaches after someone on another floor had become a crazy slob. It was just not going his way. It was apparently so severe an infestation that residents couldn't even get home to retrieve their things - well, the people who'd been at home at the time had been allowed to, but Hina was busier than most people.

So now he was living out of a backpack that he'd been lucky enough to have on him, and he was looking for a place to crash. Logically, a hotel, even a capsule hotel, was the way to go, but there was no point in going to the expense if he could just stay with a friend who owed him. And he had plenty of people agency-wide who did. He tried Tackey first - no go. His other bandmates made up excuses, most likely since he'd been so grouchy ever since the incident with Aiba-chan at TV Asahi.

He could relieve Yoko at the hospital and just camp out with Yasu, but it would only make him angry, seeing Yasu in the bed and not knowing what the hell had happened. Hina wasn't born yesterday. He'd seen that little smirk Sakurai had made in the hospital room, that satisfied look. It was as though he was happy that Yasu had gotten hurt. He didn't have any evidence that Arashi was involved. It was a bit ridiculous to suspect that someone in Arashi could have conned Yasu into scaling the wall of TV Asahi, but his suspicions were growing.

And they continued to rise when his phone rang, and it was Ohno-kun on the line. When had he even gotten his phone number? It was more than just Ohno-kun though - from the sound of it, Arashi had Hina on speaker. "Hellooooo, Hina-chan," Aiba said happily. "When cockroaches attack, huh?"

He scowled, even though they couldn't see him. "What the hell do you guys want?"

"To help you," Ohno said, and Hina had to admit that he sounded halfway honest. "Maru-chan sent me a mail. He was making this weird face and said it was his impersonation of you running away from killer atomic-powered cockroaches."

Well, that didn't seem too far-fetched. At least for Maru. "My building's being fumigated."

"Ah," Ohno said before Aiba was talking again.

"So you should come stay with me! I'll cook for you."

Hina wrinkled his nose. "I'd rather eat my shoe."

Ohno laughed at that, and Hina heard Aiba give his Leader a little smack for it. Then Matsujun's voice was on the line. "Look Hina, tensions are high lately, and we know you've got enough stress dealing with Yasuda's problem. So Aiba-chan's got the space, why don't you just stay there?"

"Are you my mother?" Hina grumbled.

"Oh come on," Aiba complained. "We can have a slumber party!"

The thought of a slumber party with another grown man made Hina want to hurl, but if he stayed with Aiba-chan, there was no way Arashi could mess with him. Not really. They couldn't really plot if Hina was around. Maybe he could even uncover some of their dastardly secrets. Arashi was always so buddy buddy, there had to be some dark secret there. Something that had brought them to TV Asahi with smiles and threats the other day. And if it brought Kanjani8 closer to hosting Countdown, all the better.

"Well," Hina said, weighing his options, "I'm not going to give you any money for it."

"I'm not asking you to," Aiba said. "I'm your friend."

Somehow, Hina doubted that was really true at this point. They were up to something, he knew it. Maybe they were trying to get him out of the way, just like they'd somehow gotten to Yasu. And Leader and Maru were exchanging mails regularly. Was Arashi trying to undermine his entire group? Hina wouldn't be so easily fooled.

"Fine. I'll stay with you."

"Glad to hear it," Aiba said. "I'll even make you pancakes."

Hina hung up, exasperated. It couldn't get any worse, could it?

\--

Most people would have gone home by now, but Yoko wasn't most people. He had vowed to stay at Yasu's side for the duration of the man's hospital stay, and it wasn't really so terrible. Maru had been nice enough to go home and get Yoko's game console and with a little finagling, it was now hooked up to the TV in Yasu's room. He listened to Yasu's even breaths in the bed, sucking down his fifth energy drink of the night as he played Monster Hunter.

If he was at home playing Monster Hunter, his manager would probably call and tell him off for wasting his time, but if he was here in a member's hospital room being a devoted friend, then Yoko could play video games to his heart's content. The room was dark save for the glow of the TV, and the time had come to use the washroom. His bladder had started warning him an hour earlier, but he'd stuck it out until Yasu had fallen asleep.

He paused the game, getting up and cracking his joints, fumbling his way around Yasu's bed to get to the small bathroom inside the room. He didn't bother fumbling in the dark for the lights, instead letting his sense of logic and the metal rail bolted to the wall help him figure out where the toilet was. Thoroughly relieved, he knew he could probably pull an all-nighter if he got another energy drink from the vending room down the hall. Hopefully he still had enough change.

But as he turned off the sink and dried his hands, he heard the beeping. "Yasu!" Yoko cried, stumbling around in the dark bathroom. "Yasu, don't die!"

He found the door and flung it open, seeing a shadowy figure lurking near Yasu's bed. All the machines were beeping, and Yasu was whining and holding onto his arm. "Don't you touch him!" Yoko screeched at the assassin, bounding across the room to try and tackle the assailant.

But the other man was too quick, grabbing the vase of flowers that Sho-kun had brought the other day and flinging them at Yoko. He ducked just in time, but he slipped on the water as he tried diving for Yasu's attacker. "My hand!" Yasu was grumbling. "Ow!"

Yoko got himself to his feet, chasing the attacker from the hospital room. It was late and none of the nurses were on duty as Yoko chased the person to the nearest stairwell, huffing and puffing. He wasn't used to this sort of thing, after all, and he had been sitting on his ass for the past several hours. "Come back here, you bastard!"

But it was too late, and the figure had darted down the stairwell as Yoko heaved and sighed, leaning against the railing. He'd failed. It had been his job to keep an eye on Yasu, and he'd let his bladder dictate terms. Never again. Well, never again if he could help it, anyway. He trudged back up the stairs, out of breath, and when he returned to Yasu's room, a nurse was there complaining about the mess.

"Yasu!" Yoko cried, moving to the bed. "Yasu, are you dying?"

He shook his head, looking at Yoko like he was crazy. "I must have moved in my sleep," his bandmate admitted, holding up his hand. "I knocked my IV out."

Yoko narrowed his eyes. No, that definitely hadn't been the way of it. "No. No, someone was here, Yasu. Someone just tried to kill you!"

Yasu rolled his eyes. "Pulling out my IV wasn't going to kill me...I don't need..."

Yoko slapped his hand down over Yasu's mouth. "There is an assassin in our midst, Yasuda. We must be vigilant."

"Mmfhmfhmm," Yasu protested as the nurse went to fetch a janitor to mop the floor.

"But don't you worry. I've played a detective before. I've got this." Yoko let him go as soon as he noticed the note that had dropped to the floor near the IV stand. "Aha, I've already spotted the first clue!"

"Clue? Yoko, I'm not going to die, it was just..."

Yoko snatched the note, opening it up. This was it. The killer had managed to drop it in their epic battle of bodies and minds prior to Yoko being unable to follow him in the stairwell. He stared at the scrawled handwriting. "Meadow Bakery, Shinjuku. Fantastic Treats, Toshima..." Yoko squinted again. "Papa-san's Cupcakes and More? The hell kind of clue is this?"

Yasu groaned. "But you don't even know..."

Yoko ignored him, refolding the paper and slipping it into his jeans pocket. "Someone attacks my bandmate, that means someone attacks me! Someone murders my bandmate, this means war!"

"But Yoko, I'm still alive..."

"Wherever you are, assassin," Yoko vowed, "I hereby accept your challenge!"

Yasu sighed. "You're such an idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 3: A Storm of Swords**

Kato Shigeaki didn't know Matsuoka-senpai that well. Sure they worked with the TOKIO members at Countdown and in the occasional acting job, but on the whole, they'd never really interacted much. It seemed that there was a contract on the table now, and Kei-chan had signed it, committing NEWS to some sort of secret agreement with their senpai.

The two groups were celebrating the contract at Matsuoka's house, and Shige was rather surprised at how raucous a TOKIO party could get. He was nursing his second beer, but Matsuoka was trying to round all his kohai up for a round of sake bombs. Nagase had his arm around Tegoshi's neck, rather possessively so, and Shige downed the rest of his beer and looked away. Kei-chan really had been serious about the terms of the agreement. And it really irritated Shige to have been excluded from the original dinner meeting - he was the only one really qualified to look over the contract, after all - and Kei had just gone ahead and signed it without even calling him.

"Sake bomb, sake bomb!" Yamapi was cheering, already loosened up and noisy while Shige ran into Ryo-chan at Matsuoka's fridge.

"So," Shige said, "what do you think of all this then?" He hadn't seen Ryo in a while, and the man had been rather quiet. He wondered if there was something going on with Kanjani8 and Countdown, not that Ryo ever really acted like he favored one group over another.

Ryo opened the fridge, grabbing beers for them both. "I think this is just an excuse to get plastered and not have to worry about your credit card getting rejected at the bar."

Shige raised an eyebrow. "That happen to you a lot?"

Ryo just smiled, twisting off the bottle top. "No comment."

"Shige!"

Oh no, this one he couldn't avoid. "Shige," he said in response as TOKIO's leader shuffled over to him, holding a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

Joshima didn't seem to know why there was a party going on, but he didn't seem to care. "Ah, it's good to bond like this, isn't it? I miss seeing you every day."

It hadn't been that long ago that they'd been in a play together, but Shige just nodded. "Yeah. Well...yeah."

Joshima held out the bottle. "Want some? Taichi's got spies everywhere and says..." Leader hiccuped, "...says you're a few beers behind your friends."

He was a few beers behind because he seemed to actually value his liver, Shige thought bitterly. But Matsuoka was loading up another round of sake bombs, and Kei-chan, Nagase, Tegoshi, Massu, and Yamaguchi were lined up ready for more. It made Shige want to barf.

He held up his bottle and smiled. "No, I'm good. Thank you, Shige."

Joshima hugged him awkwardly. "NEWS is great. You guys are great. Have a great time. I love you."

Shige backed away, wanting to be anywhere but at this bizarre party. After two more sake bombs, Kei came stumbling over, falling on top of Shige on Matsuoka's couch. "Shige," Kei cried. "Oh Shige, we did it. We're going to host Countdown!"

"All we've done is whore out Tegoshi," Shige pointed out. "We haven't asked Johnny-san about it yet."

Kei just waved his hand dismissively, hugging Shige around the neck. "I love NEWS. I love you guys."

"You know who else does? Joshima-kun, so why don't you go hug _him_?"

"Shige, you're mean, but only because you love NEWS too," Kei laughed, and Shige had to admit that he hadn't seen his friend so happy in the longest time. To be fair, he was wasted, but he was still ridiculously happy. And that made Shige happy.

He looked over to see Tegoshi sitting in Nagase's lap, pouring a can of Sapporo down the large man's gullet, and he shuddered. "I don't think anyone loves NEWS as much as Tegoshi does right now."

"Countdown!" Kei shouted one last time before vomiting in Shige's lap.

\--

Tanaka Koki had worked with Kame for many years. And in that time, he'd come to understand that Kame wasn't one to back down from anything. Koki had to admire that about him, even if it made Kame kind of an asshole from time to time. It was time for yet another meeting in the northern end of the Tokyo metropolitan area, and the staff at the Great Wall restaurant didn't even seem surprised as Koki entered with his solemn black garb.

He slid open the door to their private room, spying Kame already inside with his damn iPad. Koki had intentionally kept his phone off the past few days, mostly because all the messages he'd been receiving were from Kame re: Countdown. Now Koki wasn't entirely averse to hosting the end of the year celebration. Koki liked any excuse to meet up with people from the jimusho, maybe talk a senpai into taking him for drinks, maybe treat his juniors to a meal in hopes of being voted Best Senpai Ever.

But Koki was still a little unsure of hosting Countdown with Kame in charge. Kame would want to somehow incorporate some crazy Dream Boys-style wire work and fan dancing and most likely some elaborate water cannons, but everyone knew that Tackey was the only one who got to fly around at New Year's these days. If Kame got KAT-TUN in as hosts and tried to pull a stunt like that, it would just make KAT-TUN go down, down, down in everyone's favor, and he simply couldn't bear to see that happen. Koki knew that people didn't watch Countdown for water cannons, anyhow - they watched it for rare fan service possibilities.

He sat down at Kame's side, accepting the hot towel from the waitress. "Ah, Kame, I figured you'd be here already."

Kame didn't even look up from his iPad. He merely gestured to the Lazy Susan at the center of the table where he'd left several file folders. Koki took a glance at them - Kame had neatly labeled each folder with each member's name, and Koki took the one designated for himself.

Inside he found something that made his heart stop. In the smallest font possible, Kame had typed up a "KAT-TUN Fight Plan" that went on for several pages, double-sided, about how they could make Johnny-san like them enough to allow them to host Countdown. Koki's eyes started to blur after Kame's suggestion of buying Johnny-san a new "extra manly" Prada handbag.

He set the folder down and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Kazuya."

Kame finally looked up, dark circles under his eyes. Darker than his usual stressed-out dark circles. And he had crazy eyes. "Koki," Kame grinned. "Koki, do you like the battle plan? Tat-chan's going to be late because I asked him to pick up some of my flowcharts from the Kinko's. I got a great deal, buy twenty charts, get five free! With color ink!"

Koki could only see Ueda now, most likely dumping Kame's precious flowcharts into the nearest garbage dumpster because he didn't want to be seen putting them in his car. "Don't you think this is a bit...much?"

Kame released his death grip on the iPad, setting it down on top of his own "Kamenashi Kazuya" file folder that had been decorated with baseball stickers. "But winter is coming."

"I'm well aware of that fact, thank you, but..." He scanned the list again. "Do you really think 'ordering Johnny-san a foreign prostitute in a gender of his choosing' is something that'll actually endear us to him?"

Kame shrugged. "I listed a ton of options." He grabbed a colorful box from his other side. "I figured we'd all cast votes. Look how cute this voting box is! I didn't sleep last night so I could decorate it! Look at all the glitter!"

Koki shut his eyes. "Kame, I want to host Countdown with you, I really do." He really didn't. "And I think your heart's in the right place, but I can't...I don't think bribery of this scale is going to work."

"Is it not enough?" Kame asked, frowning. He grabbed his iPad again. "Let me go to my bank's website and check how much I've got in my savings account. I'm not averse to getting Johnny-san a boat if I can get a good leasing price..."

Koki finally yanked the iPad away. "Stop. Just...would you listen to yourself? You aren't sleeping, you're contemplating buying the head of our agency a boat, and nobody else is here. Does that reach you? Taguchi's not here, Nakamaru's not here. And why? Because you're scaring them."

Kame shrugged. "But Tat-chan..."

"I highly doubt he is waiting in line at Kinko's right now, Kame, I really doubt it."

Kame frowned, reaching into his pocket for his phone. He flipped it open and clicked down to the most recent message in his inbox. The subject was again "Countdown" and this time, the message wasn't just "winter is coming" - now it said "winter is coming" with at least twenty emoji of a devil's face after it.

"It's a threat, Koki," Kame said seriously. "That devil means business. It means we have to take this seriously or we won't get anywhere."

"It's emoji."

Kame moved his phone away from Koki's line of sight. "It's a threat."

"They're cute, though."

Kame looked at the message on his phone one last time before staring at all the work he'd left laying on the table and the fact that none of his other bandmates had shown up to read it. "I really want to host Countdown, Koki," Kame admitted, putting his phone away.

"I get that."

"You really don't think Johnny-san would want a Prada bag?" Kame's fingers brushed across the folders. "We'd need a miracle."

Koki knew exactly what might be able to win them the hosting prize. It might not necessarily make Johnny-san happy, but if they came to him with such a suggestion, it would definitely impress him. Maybe that was what they needed. He watched Kame continue to fret over his folders.

"Let me talk to Taguchi," Koki said gently. "If anyone can find us a miracle, it's him."

\--

It had been a while since they'd met up for a meal, and Hina was grateful to talk to someone who wasn't in a debuted group. At least he wouldn't be a competitor, Hina thought as he entered the small restaurant in Shibuya and found his friend sitting in the back.

He was disguised in a pair of glasses and a baseball cap, but there was no mistaking Ikuta Toma as he stood up and waved Hina over to the table. "It's been a while," Toma said with a friendly smile as they took their seats.

"Yeah, a busy year for us. And you too."

They made small talk about 24 Hour TV and Toma's stage plays and movies as they ate, and it wasn't until the meal ended that Toma dropped the bombshell.

"So you're staying with Aiba-kun, huh?" Toma said, voice sounding completely different from the cheer he'd had the remainder of the meal.

"Uh..." Word sure got around fast. Not that Hina had particularly enjoyed waking up on Aiba's couch that morning to find a naked Aiba frying eggs in the kitchen as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Hina was still recovering from that horror. He had initially assumed it was more Arashi psychological warfare, but since it was Aiba-chan and he was kind of an idiot, he wasn't entirely sure. "Yeah, yeah I'm staying with him for the time being."

Toma shook his head. "You have to get out of there."

Hina laughed. "What? Why?"

He leaned forward conspiratorially. "Winter is coming."

"Oh Toma-kun, not you too!" Great, had everyone in the jimusho gotten the message? Wasn't there one person left he could talk to?

Toma was insistent, thumping his fist on the table. "You can't trust them, Hina. Arashi. They're after you."

Even though Hina was starting to come around to that point himself, he didn't really want to believe it. All of them had grown up together, hadn't they? Worn stupid costumes together, gone through puberty together, gone to each other's houses together?

"How do you know? You know Matsujun, Toma, he's not this evil criminal mastermind."

Toma only sipped his water.

"He's not actually an evil criminal mastermind, is he?" As far as Hina knew, Matsujun didn't mastermind anything aside from the order of the hat collection in his walk-in closet.

"Think of how far Arashi's come," Toma hinted. "Think of what they'll do to stay right where they are. Countdown's just the beginning."

Hina couldn't believe what he was hearing. Between the craziness over Yasu and Toma's odd insistence on Arashi's evil intentions, he was starting to wonder if they'd all been in this ridiculous jimusho too long. "If Johnny-san wants Kanjani8 to host, we're going to say yes."

"And you think they'll just let it alone?" Toma asked. "You think they won't try and sabotage you?"

"Toma, Ohno-kun can barely remember to tie his shoes half the time."

"I'm just looking out for you, Murakami. I love Arashi, don't get me wrong, but they're too loyal to each other to let this Countdown thing slide." He smiled. "Let me help you. Let me help Kanjani8."

"Who says we need your help? How do I know what side you're even on here?" This whole thing was turning into some Godfather-like plot, and Hina was getting to the point where he just wanted to go back to Osaka and find some cave to hide in until winter had come and gone. Not that there were a lot of caves in downtown Osaka, but still.

Toma didn't stop smiling, nor did he seem insulted. "Fine, fine. It's all just a stupid bunch of text messages. I'm sure that's all it is. But just...I mean, I'm not saying Aiba-kun's going to do anything to you. He couldn't harm a fly. But where the group's concerned..."

Hina knew full well that Arashi individually wasn't much of a threat - but it was their unity that he had to look out for. "Can we just pay already?" Hina grumbled.

Toma snatched the check away. "Let me take care of it. As a sign of my loyalty."

"It's just Countdown, you know."

"Is it?" Toma asked before grabbing his bag and walking away from the table ominously. All that was missing was some dramatic music.

Hina banged his head against the table. Everyone was officially out of their damn minds.

\--

Masuda Takahisa had been through a lot with Tegoshi. And after all these years, he thought he'd known the guy almost as well as he knew himself. But ever since Koyama had signed the weird agreement with TOKIO, Tegoshi had become someone else entirely.

Not that Massu knew a whole lot about what it was like for your group to sell you to a senpai. Nobody had offered to barter Massu in exchange for goods or services before. But he supposed that it was something that just came more naturally to Tegoshi, who was eager to please if it got him a little bit more attention. Massu knew he wouldn't be able to work ten hours straight at TOKIO's Dash Village for no pay, scooping up chicken crap with a smile. Especially if Nagase-senpai was watching the whole time with a creepy twinkle in his eye.

The last thing Massu liked to do was pry in business not his own, but Kei-chan had been on him like a fly on shit lately. "Has Tego-nyan made any progress with Nagase? Has TOKIO said anything to him about plans to talk to Johnny-san?" Kei-chan seemed to think that Tegoshi told him everything, which was definitely not true. And with the way the bizarre TOKIO agreement was going, Massu didn't feel like he wanted Tegoshi to enlighten him about every little thing going on.

It had been a week since the party at Matsuoka's house, and Koyama had sent Massu a dozen hysterical voicemails about nobody in TOKIO having gone to see Johnny-san yet regarding Countdown. What was the hurry, Massu thought. Countdown was still ages away. But in order to get Koyama to calm down, the two of them were going to put in an appearance at a 5LDK taping. Not that TOKIO or Tegoshi knew they were coming, but at least they'd get to see what sort of progress was being made.

It was surprisingly easy to get into the studio. Instead of trying to bargain with the staff and convince them they were famous, he and Kei simply went on the free Fuji TV tour and snuck off from the rest of the Odaiba tourists. They hid behind some costume racks in TOKIO's green room, waiting for the band to return after the taping. But when the door opened, it was Tegoshi by himself.

Koyama's fingernails dug into Massu's forearm behind the costume racks as Tegoshi came in humming TOKIO's most recent single. They watched as he went to his large bag in the corner of the room, taking out a bundle from within and bringing it over to the table where TOKIO's post-taping bentos were stacked. Tegoshi unwrapped the bundle, revealing a fancy bento box covered in sparkly skulls.

Tegoshi ended up swapping one of the regular bentos for his special box, throwing it in the trash. And that was when Kei-chan had had enough. "What the hell are you doing?" Koyama screeched, getting up and knocking over the rack. Massu hurried to pick it back up as Tegoshi got to his feet, crossing his arms.

"What do you think, Kei-chan? I made Tomoya-chan his lunch today."

Koyama looked ready to foam at the mouth. "Tomoya-chan? You call him _Tomoya-chan_!?"

Tegoshi got up in Koyama's face, poking him with his finger. "You're just mad that they like me. Tomoya-chan and the others. TOKIO likes me, and they don't invite you to strip clubs!"

"You go to strip clubs with them?" Massu mumbled.

"Oh yeah," Tegoshi bragged. "They give me money to slip into the stripper's g-strings. Yeah, we have a great time. They're the best guys to hang out with ever, and you're just jealous!"

"I'm not jealous!" Koyama insisted, and Massu had to admit that he did sound jealous. "We had a deal, Tegoshi! You do whatever you have to do to get TOKIO to talk to Johnny-san! What's taking so long? You can't take a short stripper break and ask your Tomoya-chan to go to the big boss?"

"What's all this then?" came Taichi's voice from the doorway as he and the rest of TOKIO came strolling in. Massu hid behind Koyama while Tegoshi's face lit up.

"Tomoya-chan! I made you a special lunch! Hamburger sushi!"

"That sounds awful," Yamaguchi said with a shudder. "Oh, Masuda, Koyama. Why are you here?"

"We were just leaving," Massu said just as Koyama announced, "We're here on official business!"

Nagase pushed everyone aside to get to his specially-made bento, and he sat down on the couch. Massu looked away, creeped out as Tegoshi sat in his lap and started feeding him the nastiest looking sushi he'd ever seen.

Taichi took that opportunity to clamp a hand down on his and Kei-chan's shoulders. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two boys were snooping around."

"We'd just like a status update," Koyama insisted. "Regarding our contract."

Joshima popped off the plastic lid for his lunch. "Ooh, shrimp today!"

The rest of TOKIO ignored Koyama, hurrying to grab their food while Koyama's face turned red.

"Pay attention to me! You brokered a deal with me!"

"Kei-chan, relax," Massu tried to warn him as TOKIO started shoveling food in their mouths. Tegoshi was watching the whole proceedings with a strange look on his face - Massu was starting to worry about him.

"I will not relax!" Koyama screeched. "We can take Tegoshi back if you're not going to honor your agreement! You...you strip club-going savages!"

Taichi picked up one of the shrimp from his lunch, bringing to his lips. He made a showy gesture of pointing at Koyama before biting down on the shrimp decisively and munching happily. Each member of TOKIO proceeded to do the same thing, although Joshima hadn't really caught on and pointed at Massu and smiled, shrimp falling from his chopsticks and onto the table. Either way, it was pretty obvious that Tegoshi was just another one of the guys when it came to TOKIO now, and Koyama was losing his leverage. And all of this craziness just for Countdown.

Massu tugged on Koyama's arm. "Can we go now?"

Tegoshi even waved cheerfully as they left, and Koyama had out his cell phone before they were even out of the building. "It's time for plan B," Koyama said.

Massu blanched. "Uh, what's plan B? You're not going to sell me to Higashiyama-san are you?"

But by then, Koyama was completely ignoring him. "Shige," he said into his cell phone. "We need to talk."

\--

Yoko usually liked going to Aiba-chan's apartment building. His kitchen always had a wide array of snacks, some of which were weird because Aiba-chan was a sucker for cute packaging, but he usually made decent choices. But today, Yoko was on a mission. He wouldn't say it was a mission from God. Okay, maybe it _was_ a mission from God. A mission that said Yoko was responsible for keeping his bandmates alive at any cost. He'd saved Yasu - he had to make sure Hina was safe.

As the doorman waved him on in, frequent visitor that he was, Yoko started to panic. Well, more like Yoko continued to panic. He'd already sweated through a whole t-shirt on the way over, and he probably stunk, but since he was on a mission from God, people could just deal with it. He worried about what he might find when he got to Aiba's apartment. Would he find Hina stabbed to death with some ceremonial knife Aiba had gotten on one of his trips to the middle of nowhere overseas? Would he find Hina lying in Aiba's bathtub electrocuted by Aiba's toaster? Would he find Hina stung to death by bees and...

Aiba-chan was waiting when the elevator dinged open. "Yokocho!" his friend (mortal enemy?!) crowed, embracing him. "Wow, you smell like the zoos I visit. But come on in!"

Aiba dragged him down the hall, the list he'd found in Yasu's hospital room burning a hole in his pocket. "I...I was just coming to check on Hina."

"Why? We have cell phones now in the 21st century, you know, you didn't have to come over here."

Yoko only shrugged, not willing to let Aiba-chan see any weakness. Because Yoko was smarter than Aiba. Pfft. Cell phones. You couldn't trust cell phones. Aiba could have recorded Hina's voice and would play it if Yoko called to throw him off the trail. No, Yoko needed to see Hina in person, and he needed to get the list to him. The list with all the bakeries. What could it mean?

Aiba led the way into his apartment. "Take off your shoes. Make yourself comfortable. Hina's in the living room."

Hina was in fact alive and in the living room as Aiba had claimed, and Yoko didn't think it was lacking in manliness to leap over the couch and throw his arms around him. "Hina, you're safe."

Aiba looked confused. "How about I get you a beer, Yokocho, you need to relax."

When he disappeared into the kitchen, Hina shoved him off immediately. "The hell is your problem?"

Yoko brought his voice down to Special Secret Whisper level. A whisper he'd actually perfected as a teenager with Aiba-chan, but Yoko could only trust the people in his group now. "Someone tried to kill Yasu last night."

"Someone what?!" Hina screeched, and Yoko shoved a sweaty palm over his friend's mouth.

"Be quiet, he'll hear you!" Yoko was just about to take the bakery list out as proof of the assassin's mischief, but Aiba was back with three cans of beer, and Yoko bolted to sit in a chair opposite the couch but came up short and ended up sitting awkwardly on the pointy corner of Aiba's coffee table. Hina just looked irritated. They needed to have some time alone.

Aiba handed him the beer with a smile. "So how is Yasu-chan doing?"

"None of your business, Arashi!" Yoko spat, and Hina threw one of Aiba's throw pillows at him.

"He's fine. Released this morning," Hina informed him.

Yoko seethed. The person the night before, Yasu's attacker, they'd been stupid enough to drop the list of bakeries. Had it been Aiba-chan he'd faced in righteous combat? Aiba was forgetful enough to do that, botch a murder attempt, and then escape with his long legs.

He had to be on the offensive, had to keep Aiba on his toes. Eventually he'd slip up. "So Aiba-chan, what do you think about cupcakes?"

"...out of nowhere," Hina muttered to himself in disgust.

"Cupcakes?" Aiba asked, his usual bright smile floundering a bit. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you like them?" Yoko pressed.

Another pillow came flying from Hina's direction, and Yoko caught it in the nick of time, hugging it to his chest. "I'm just saying, now that Yasu's out of the hospital, maybe I should buy him some. For, you know, going through all that."

"You...want to buy him cupcakes?"

"It's a simple enough question, Masaki," Yoko persisted. Ha, he had him now. "Where would you buy Yasu cupcakes?"

"At...a bakery?"

Hina had finally had enough, getting to his feet and tugging Yoko to his. "Pardon us, Aiba-chan, I think Yoko forgot to take his 'act like a normal human being' pill this morning." Hina hauled him into Aiba's bedroom and shut the door.

Yoko temporarily forgot himself at the sight of a dvd on Aiba's bedside table. "Ooh, he's got Housewife Hunters 14!"

Hina smacked him upside the head, switching to Special Secret Whisper level. "What the hell is wrong with you today? I'm trying to behave normally, see if Arashi's plotting stuff and you just barge in talking about cupcakes? And stop looking at Aiba-chan's porn!"

"But Housewife Hunters 14..."

Hina shook him. "Yokoyama. Why. are. you. here?"

He was going to listen. Finally! He quickly explained the previous night at the hospital and everything that had happened with Yasu. He took out his proof, slipping the bakery list into Hina's hand. "Whoever tried to murder Yasuda dropped this. And whoever they are, they're going to bakeries."

"I highly doubt anyone was actually trying to murder..."

Yoko squeezed Hina's wrist. "The longer you stay here with Aiba-chan, the more danger you're in. How do you know he's not the one from last night? Maybe he'll try to kill you!"

Hina rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Murder? This is Arashi we're talking about. They're too busy for that stuff! They'd be more likely to hire people than do it themselves."

"But you saw the way Aiba started getting nervous about the cupcakes," Yoko continued.

"Anyone being interrogated by someone as stupid as you would be as confused as Aiba-chan was." Hina finally scanned over the list. "Okay, so it's bakeries then. Your killer has a sweet tooth."

"There has to be more to it than that!"

"If I look into it, will you go away?" Hina asked him.

"Well, seeing as how I have the rest of our group to protect from assassins, yeah, I should probably be on my way. Someone might poison Tacchon's food! Or talk Maru-chan into walking off a cliff!"

"I highly doubt Maru would..." Hina began, but thought better of it. "You're right, you're right. Just...I'll hold onto this and you go...do whatever you plan to do. And stop being so obvious around Arashi. I don't want them to know we're investigating them."

Yoko snuck Aiba's dvd into his back pocket. "Now I have leverage."

"You're an idiot."

They left the bedroom together, finding Aiba-chan on the other side. "What were you guys doing in there for so long?" He looked increasingly uncomfortable. "Do I need to change my bed sheets?"

Hina smacked him.

\--

Sakurai Sho was not a happy man. Sure, he was in bed with Matsujun, which wasn't a bad thing in itself, but it wasn't enough to stave off the increasing worry of the past few days. Jun yanked the covers over to his half of the bed, grumbling.

"Go to sleep," Jun complained as the light from Sho's laptop kept the darkened bedroom aglow. "Why are you still awake?"

"I'm awake, Matsujun, because we have to be vigilant at all hours."

Jun sat up, adjusting his many pillows. "If this is about Countdown again, you need to stop. I told you, we have the situation under control."

"He was only supposed to scare them," Sho mumbled, checking through various tabloid magazine websites for any mention of the incident at the hospital. "Not dismantle medical equipment."

"Well, it was either him or Leader, and you know how much Masaki likes to pull pranks. But no harm done."

He glared at Jun. "How can you be so calm about this? A lot is at stake here. Nino's already half-assing everything, Satoshi-kun keeps forgetting to check things off the Google Docs list...we can't even keep track of where everyone's gone."

Jun shoved Sho's laptop closed. "I never thought I'd be the one to say this to you, but you plan too much, Sho-kun."

Countdown was supposed to be a given. There was no guarantee that Arashi would be welcomed back to Kouhaku, but the New Year just didn't feel right without them in some sort of leadership capacity. Who else would the juniors have to look up to if Arashi wasn't in charge? Kanjani8 had had a wonderful year, but there were too many wild cards. Sho couldn't bear it if one of their members started going off script about tits or something in front of the Tokyo Dome fans. Therefore, Johnny-san needed to know that Arashi was the most logical choice. Arashi had worked tirelessly for years, and Arashi always paid their debts. Taking on the burden of hosting was just one more debt they could repay.

He'd spent days going through Yelp and the phone book to get a tentative list together, and among the five of them, it wouldn't take that long to visit each one. When they finally settled on a victor, they'd win their way to Johnny-san's stomach, which was the best way to win Johnny-san's heart. Couldn't the others see that?

Jun attempted to lean his head against Sho's shoulder, but kept slipping off and gave up. "Sho-san, we're going to find the perfect place. You and me. Together. Then all these stupid mails on our phone will be meaningless. We're going to win."

Sho couldn't help thinking of the newest version of the "winter is coming" mails that were clogging up the inbox of his cell phone. All the little devil emoji. It had only happened after the situation with Yasuda and that day at Music Station. Had Yasuda-kun really lost his memory about that day, or was Kanjani8 trying to trick them all?

Jun's hand slipped under the covers, fingers inching toward Sho's thigh. "Sho-kun..."

He shut his eyes. "Let me...let me just check my email one more time."

Jun groaned. "Come onnnn."

"Just one more time, and I swear I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

"You're worse than a woman," Jun complained. "Next you'll say you have a headache."

He slapped Jun's hand away from his leg and opened the laptop, logging into his email account quickly. It was well after midnight, yet there was a brand new message from Aiba-chan. It hadn't been there a few minutes ago. "See, what did I tell you?"

Jun was growing impatient. "Click on it already. Seeing all of Masaki's typos is going to turn me off if you don't do this quickly."

Sho smiled, opening the email. Jun sure had changed from the timid, eager-to-please boy he'd been when they were younger, but he supposed it kept their sex life interesting. "Okay, let me just skim...'Sho-chan, how are you? It's me, Aiba-chan...'"

Jun pulled a pillow over his face, and his hand started moving underneath the blanket in desperation. "Hurry up, hurry up, don't read it out loud!"

"'So about last night, I may have dropped the package.'"

"What package?" Jun wondered, lowering the pillow immediately, more interested in Aiba's email than he let on. Which was typical, Sho thought.

Sho shook his head. "I think Aiba's trying to talk in code, but he's not very good at it. The package, the package..." He kept reading, then frowned. "He says 'and by package, I mean the bakery list. I'm very sorry. I think Yoko might have found it.'"

"That idiot!" Jun cried out. "Why did he even print a hard copy?"

Sho scowled. He didn't like being mad at Aiba-chan. It was like being angry at a puppy. A dumb puppy who peed on everything and lost valuable bakery lists in enemy territory. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Damage control. They're not going to know what it means. It's just a list of bakeries."

"Bakeries that specialize in one particular item," Jun reminded him.

"And you think any of them would deduce that? Think about it."

"Hina might," Jun hinted.

Sho sighed. They could count on apathy or airheadedness from most of the members, but Murakami was always the wild card. "Do we take him out? Do we change the plan?"

Jun had finally had enough plotting, shutting Sho's laptop lid again. "We'll deal with it tomorrow."

And when Jun's hand made it back to Sho's thigh, he relented. "Tomorrow then."

 

 **Chapter 4: Solo Artists, Bassists, and Broken Things**

Koyama had had enough. Maybe if he'd sold Yamapi to TOKIO things would have worked out differently. But almost every hour on the hour, Tegoshi was reminding Koyama of the poor decision he'd made. His inbox was constantly being bombarded with messages from Tegoshi now, none of which mentioned TOKIO talking to Johnny-san about Countdown.

Instead, Koyama's phone was full of purikura photos of Tegoshi and Nagase making creepy kissy faces, Tegoshi and Nagase skipping along holding hands at DisneySea, Tegoshi and Nagase playing with puppies at a pet store...it was disgusting. And not just that, but it meant that he'd lost Tegoshi for good and he'd lost him to the dark side.

But he couldn't admit defeat. So what, Koyama had told himself as he shifted gears. That was why smart people like him had back-up plans. It had taken some prodding and some bribery, but he had Shige on his side, mostly because Shige was bored, and when he was bored, he was more liable to go along with Koyama's ideas. The two of them were riding the train incognito in hopes of breaking into Taichi-san's apartment complex.

Tegoshi had gone on and on about it in one of his nasty bragging messages, that TOKIO was having yet another party sure to involve a ton of liquor and maybe a stripper or twenty, who knew? And every attempt to get a hold of Massu for the past week had been hopeless. At least he still had Shige.

Shige adjusted his special incognito glasses and his special incognito baseball cap as he sighed. "I don't want to go to this party."

"Well, if they've only adopted Tegoshi because it's funny to watch him do beer bongs, then that has to be a breach of contract. You're the law expert, can't you prosecute them or something? Serve them with some kind of papers?"

Shige eyed him suspiciously. "You do realize I'm not actually a practicing attorney, right?"

"Close enough!" Koyama insisted, adjusting his own special incognito hooded sweatshirt. "Like any of them would know if you started rambling off statutes and all that other boring stuff you talk about." Now Shige looked ready to slap him. "Oh get over yourself, you know it's boring."

"Remind me why you're so desperate for my help again? Because I could be doing nothing right now which sounds a lot more attractive."

"Because," Koyama said, "I need you. NEWS needs you. For Countdown."

"And is that what you told Tegoshi before you sold him to Nagase like a prostitute?"

He gritted his teeth. "I don't like your attitude today, Shige. We're crashing this party, we are taking a stand."

"It sounds more like you're jealous because TOKIO doesn't want you to be their friend. You can't be everyone's best buddy, Kei-chan, that's how life goes."

The train arrived at their stop, and Koyama got up without looking to see if Shige was still following him. But when they arrived at the apartment complex where Taichi-san supposedly lived, Shige had his game face on. He might have been a bit of a sourpuss, but the prospect of sneaking around like a ninja would make any man giddy.

They made it past the doorman by carrying pizza boxes they'd rummaged out of a dumpster behind the building and from there it was only a matter of hitting the buzzer for 'Kokubun' in the front entryway.

"Heeeeey," came the voice through the intercom. It was definitely Matsuoka. And he was definitely drunk.

"Yes, this is...this is, uh," Shige stuttered, unsure of what to say.

Koyama elbowed him aside. "This is AKB48!" he said in his girliest voice. "Can we come up?"

Shige elbowed him back. "He's never going to believe..."

"AKB alriiiiight! Don't tell your managers, and we won't tell ours!" Matsuoka cheered, and the buzzer went off, allowing them to enter.

"That was too easy," Shige complained as they got in the elevator and dumped the empty pizza boxes. "We could be stalker fans. Or serial killing stalker fans!"

But Koyama didn't care. They were crashing this party, and they didn't even have to crossdress. When they entered, the apartment was full of people he didn't know, but he and Shige snuck around the back of the small crowd as soon as they spotted all five members of TOKIO in the center of the room. Shige shook him.

"Kei-chan, wait..."

And that was when he saw it. It wasn't just TOKIO at the center of the room - Tegoshi was there, too, looking proud and triumphant with Massu at his side. Massu, who looked uncomfortable but wasn't in any rush to leave.

"Massu?" Koyama murmured. "Massu, why are you here?"

With Nagase's assistance, Tegoshi and Massu climbed up onto Taichi's coffee table, surveying the room like a royal couple. Koyama felt his stomach drop as Tegoshi met his eyes from across the room.

"TOKIO, Massu, and I have an announcement!" Tegoshi said proudly as Yamaguchi forced a can of beer into Massu's hand, if only to detract attention from his deer in the headlights face. "With TOKIO's assistance, this year's Johnny's Countdown will be hosted by Tegomasu!" He smiled at Koyama. "And only us."

\--

He hadn't really wanted to make much of the bakery list that Yoko had given him. This whole thing was getting way too complicated, and Hina didn't have all the time in the world to waste on following Arashi's every move. Kanjani8 still had plenty of variety tapings and promotional activity to occupy their time, and it was bad enough that he was still staying on Aiba's couch.

The previous night he'd woken to find Aiba digging through his DVD collection and sobbing openly in search of the missing Housewife Hunters 14 that Yoko had pilfered, and since he hadn't wanted to rock the boat further, he hadn't let Aiba know the truth and had pretended to still be asleep. The lengths these idiots would go to for porn.

If dealing with Arashi wasn't enough, now he had Toma asking after him every day about new "developments" in Kanjani's Countdown efforts. Of which there were none, Hina had tried to assure him. Arashi was probably going to sabotage itself in the end with short-sightedness and it was all Hina's group needed to rise to the top. Why scheme when they could be rewarded for patience?

But Toma had apparently been displeased by this lack of initiative. He claimed that NEWS was up to something too, that Yamapi had mentioned it in passing. And that was definitely news to Hina - Ryo-chan hadn't said a thing about NEWS wanting to host, too. Could he even trust his own group? Yasu falling out of windows, Yoko hunting fake assassins, Ryo a potential double agent - all things Arashi could exploit. Toma at least hinted as much.

So the long-suffering Murakami headed for the same restaurant with Toma again, this time under cover of darkness. Toma waved him over. "Dark times, my friend, dark times," Toma declared, eyes darting all around the room.

Hina resisted the urge to smack Toma, lest any of the restaurant's other patrons discover him there. "Okay, what is it you want this time?"

"Look around the cafe," Toma said. "And tell me what you see."

Hina sighed and did as Toma asked. And that was when he saw two figures at the counter immediately look away, one of them knocking over a little bucket of chopsticks. Hina knew them! And of course, if he didn't, the roller skates at their feet were enough of a giveaway. Members of Kis-My-Ft2. "Senga-kun? And Fujigaya-kun?"

Toma nodded gravely. "Spies."

"What do you mean spies?" He turned back around to see the two of them skating off and out the door. The suckers were fast, Hina had to give them that. "They just debuted, when did they find the time to spy on me?"

"Not just you," Toma assured him. "Everyone. They're Arashi's."

"Arashi's what?"

Toma tilted his head, gesturing behind them. Hina turned around and two kids winked at him. "Goseki-kun? Kawai-kun?"

"Yours, if the price is right," Toma said.

Hina turned back, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck rise. "Let me get this straight. Arashi's hiring kohai as spies? Why?"

"Because they want to win." Toma snapped his fingers, and Hina watched the two ABC-Z members depart the restaurant as though they'd never been there. "This is the power I can give you, Hina. This is all Sho-kun and Jun-kun's money flying around, and it's recent. They're afraid of you now, why else would they need to contract out? So why not get them back. I mean, name a junior and I can buy him for you. Except little Tanaka, you know Koki-kun would kill me."

Hina slammed his fist on the table. "Toma, I don't want to buy anybody! I don't need spies, and I don't need a battle strategy. It's fall, and you know what that means? It means Arashi won't have time for this shit now. Sho-kun has a drama, Matsujun has a play, they're all busy! By default, Johnny-san will just come to us and hand us Countdown on a silver platter."

Toma removed a slip of paper from within his jacket, sliding it across the table. When Hina unfolded it, he gasped. It was the exact same list Yoko had given him the other day at Aiba's apartment, the list of bakeries.

"How the hell did you get this?"

Toma smiled as their waiter approached - once Hina squinted a bit, he realized it was just Arioka Daiki from Hey Say Jump with a fake mustache. "Thanks Daiki-kun, we'll both have the ramen today."

"Right away...sir," Daiki replied with a smile, walking off.

Hina shivered. "You have your own spies?"

"You must take me for a fool, Hina. Now about this list..."

Who the hell could he trust now? Not half his group, not Toma, not Arashi, not any of his juniors. "Go on, then. What about the list?"

"I took the liberty of Googling them all, these bakeries. A child could have figured out what Arashi was up to."

"Would you just tell me already?"

Toma smirked. "What we have here, Murakami Shingo, is a list of bakeries that specialize in one particular sweet treat."

"And that is...?"

"Scones, Hina," Toma said, tapping the paper insistently. "They all make scones."

\--

Life was really good, Maru thought. Kanjani8 was having its best year ever, he was having his personal best year ever acting-wise, and he had the best friends a guy could ask for. Of course, he was currently drunk, so everything in existence was simply glorious. He was on beer number eight, and Oh-chan was calling for some tequila shots.

A few beers back, the Joy-killing Hina in his head would have convinced him that mixing his alcohol types was boneheaded. But since he was on beer eight, Joy-killing Hina had been thoroughly quashed and the Stupidity-encouraging Subaru in his head was winning out.

"Oh-chan," he told Arashi's leader as the increasingly sexy waitress brought over the round of shots. "You know, it seems like there's this pointless...anim...animos...ani...it seems like Arashi and Kanjani8 are like, fighting or something."

Ohno wrapped an arm around his shoulders, smiling. "Arashi doesn't hate you, Maru-chan. We love you!"

"I know, right? We're best buddies!"

"Best buddies for sure!" Ohno sing-songed. "Sho-kun's been a grumpy pants lately. He's all, Satoshi-kun, you need to take this seriously. Satoshi-kun, you need to stop fishing and start going where I tell you to go. Satoshi-kun, stop pretending to be asleep when I'm talking to you! Countdown is important! Well, here's what I think of Sho-kun tonight!" He clinked his shot glass against Maru's and downed his first.

The slight alcoholic fog in Maru's head briefly cleared. "What's thaaaat? About Countdown, Oh-chan? What's going on?"

Ohno's head lolled against his shoulder. "Maru-chan, down the hatch!"

Maru loved Oh-chan. Just like he loved all of Arashi. And everyone in the entire jimusho. Maru's heart was full of so much love, he thought it might explode. But Hina and Yuuchin had been blabbing about Countdown all this time now, as if Arashi was plotting their downfall or something. But Oh-chan had been so nice to him. When he'd come to him at Music Station, he'd said something about Kanjani8 singing Arashi songs in Osaka, and Arashi singing Kanjani8 songs in Tokyo. It sounded like a marvelous arrangement, an alliance between their groups.

Maru downed the shot as Ohno directed, feeling the tingly delicious burn as it raced its way to join the beer in his belly. "Maru, I love you more than Sho-kun right now because he's mean."

"Don't say that, Oh-chan!"

Ohno clamped his hand over Maru's mouth, and despite his obvious intoxication, he had his Serious Ohno Eyes locked on. "Now I only tell you this because I trust you and love you," Ohno said very seriously. "And because Sho-kun has turned Matsujun to his side, and Aiba-chan too. They are outta controoooool!"

Maru listened as Ohno's voice lowered to a whisper.

"You want to know a secret? Johnny-san loves scones."

Maru was confused. "Hmmfhmfff?" he asked against Ohno's hand.

"He loves them, Maru. Just...don't tell okay?" And then Ohno's face turned green. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Maru watched Arashi's leader stumble out of the booth and hurry to the bathroom. The tequila was still burning, and Maru didn't know why, but his first instinct was to pull his phone from his pocket. Oh-chan had trusted him with this information, Maru told himself. And what did it mean anyway, Johnny-san loving scones? It was some pointless factoid. But at the same time, Maru was also the absolute worst at keeping secrets when he was drunk. Didn't Oh-chan know that by now?

And by the time Maru's thought process had reached that conclusion, Yoko was already yelling at him on the line. "Maruyama, it is 1:00 in the morning, I don't want your drunk dials!"

"But...Yuuchin, you...you said if Arashi told me something..." He hiccuped, peeking around the booth to see if Ohno was on his way back yet. He wasn't.

"Arashi told you what? Spit it out, or I'm calling the paparazzi on you."

"Yuuchin wouldn't do that, Yuuchin is loving and friendly and squishy!"

"WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY TOLD YOU ALREADY?!"

He giggled. Yoko was a grouchy old man at this hour, but he had sent everyone in the group a message the other day: "if you meet up with Arashi, be vigilant. They may be trying to kill and or trick and or maim you. And if they spill any secrets, tell me immediately."

"Oh-chan and I are drunk!" he explained. "And he was all, 'Maru, you are the most talented person in the agency!'"

"He didn't say that."

He giggled again. "Okay, okay. He said that Sakurai-kun was yelling at him all the time, so he told me a secret that Sakurai-kun doesn't want anyone to know. He said that Johnny-san loves scones. What does that mean, Yuuchin? Like, aren't old men supposed to cut down on sweets?"

The line went dead, and he stared at the phone.

"Yuuchin?"

\--

Finally, Nino had a day off. A day off of filming for CMs and variety alike, and Nino relished the time he had to himself. Sure, he had a bunch of bakeries he was supposed to visit for what had to be the thousandth taste test since they'd started this stupid operation, but Nino just wasn't feeling like it today. He'd been loyal all this time. He needed one day, just one precious day where he could be Nino and not Nino from Arashi.

So he went where none of the other members would bother tracking him down: the narrow, maid cafe-filled alleyways and streets of Akihabara. As he walked around in his incognito cap and "I am carrying the death plague" white mask over his face, he felt relieved. He could peruse secondhand stores, tracking down old game cartridges and figurines. He could enter an arcade and school some junior high kids at fighting games. It was here that Nino truly felt like he was amongst his people again.

The call of rare goodies brought Nino to a small game shop tucked away in one of the streets. He had his credit card and a fridge full of energy drinks at home - the night was his as soon as he found some treasure worthy of his time. He entered the store, walking past the lifesize Chun Li doll that guarded the entrance. Instead of stylists and ADs and his fellow idols, there were only fanboys here, keeping to themselves as they looked for masturbatory material or the best price to sell back an old Gundam model.

So lost was Nino in his peaceful store wanderings that he didn't notice the other person's hand reaching for the old Dragon Quest cartridge at the same time - he'd been so focused on getting it, a potential replacement for one he'd long ago worn out, that he came sweaty hand to sweaty hand with Yokoyama Yu.

Their eyes met, and Nino pulled his hand away. "Yoko."

"Nino."

"What are you doing here?" He raised an eyebrow. "I saw the game first."

"Oh Nino, I'm not here for the game," Yoko said a bit loudly, and Nino pulled him to the side.

"Would you keep your voice down?" he hissed. "Someone's going to recognize us." And the last thing Nino wanted on his Independent Nino day was to be noticed.

But when he saw the look in Yoko's eyes, Nino realized that he was in big trouble. Sho had been bothering him all day with messages about Kanjani8 being on to them, but he hadn't taken it seriously. Mostly because he didn't care. But now he had Yoko here in the store with him. Yoko who might have been stalking him all this time.

"Look," Nino said, figuring all he had left to do was try and bargain with him. "If you let me leave, I won't kill you."

Yoko's eyes widened. "Assassin!" he shouted, and the whole store turned around to stare.

He tried to pull Yoko behind one of the other shelves, but his threat had backfired. Instead Yoko marched to the center of the store, drawing the eyes of all around, including one guy who was trying to quietly grope the Chun Li doll.

"My name is Yokoyama Yu, and I am in Johnny's."

Nino was frozen in place. Even his mask wasn't going to help now, so he pulled the thing off and shoved it in his pocket. Yoko had everyone's attention now.

"That little imp over there is the cause of so much pain and suffering, and I think you'll agree."

"I didn't do anything," Nino muttered. He'd worked so hard not to give a shit, but now he had dozens of otaku eyes on him.

"You there," Yoko pointed to a guy looking through old gaming guides. "How has Ninomiya Kazunari of Arashi ruined your life?"

"Well," the guy said, "my girlfriend dumped me because she liked Matsujun."

"But I'm not Matsujun!" Nino screeched, stomping his feet.

"And you?" Yoko said, pointing to another guy.

The nerdy fellow squinted at Nino through his glasses. "What the hell was with those Zelda commercials? All you guys did was talk!"

"They told us to do that!"

And now people were volunteering damning information without Yoko having to prompt them. "They play Arashi songs at work all day!" "The 3DS isn't even that great!" "There wasn't enough sex in Gantz! I needed more tits!"

Nino backed up until he was flattened against the shelves. "Guys, guys," he said, "I am not the enemy here."

But Yoko was looking triumphant. "My car is parked a block away. Which of you gallant fellows will help me see that Nino pays for his crimes?"

"I will!"

"And me!"

"Me too!"

Nino didn't even see the otaku coming up from behind with the metallic Gantz gumball dispenser until it thwacked him in the back of the head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 5: The Eight and the Storm**

It wasn't one of the easiest phone calls that Taguchi Junnosuke had had to make in his life. But Koki had said he was the best candidate for the job: Kame wouldn't want to ask, Ueda wasn't as close to him, Nakamaru wouldn't know how to ask without being confusing, and Koki himself would probably end up crying. Sure, Taguchi hadn't spoken to him in a while on account of his movie filming, but they were still friends, and that was most likely why he picked up on the first ring.

"Taguchi! When did you get my new number?" Akanishi Jin asked, sounding surprisingly coherent despite the late hour. Taguchi had been counting on Jin being out and about, which would have made the whole thing less awkward. Jin would agree to anything with enough girly cocktails in him.

"Oh, Nishikido-kun gave it to me. I hope that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay!" Jin said happily. "You're never going to believe what I'm doing right now!"

"Jin..."

"It's something called GTL. You know, there's this show on American MTV called Jersey Shore. Well right now I'm doing the L part of it. They call it 'laundry' in English, that's why it's an L. Man, I mean, I've always been pretty laid back when it comes to separating whites and colors, knowing when to use bleach, but I've learned so much. Laundry's like, something everyone does, but when you really take the time to focus, putting all your effort into selecting the best kind of detergent..."

He smiled. If the tabloids knew the real Akanishi Jin, they'd be shocked. "Is this a bad time? To talk, I mean?"

"No, no, it's an awesome time. Things are awesome. Let me just get the machine going." There was a pause on the line as he heard the washing machine kick on. "Okay, great. I'm back."

"So you're going to be in Japan for a while?"

"I don't know, man. I'm back and forth with album stuff, why?"

"Well, what about for New Year's? Do you know where you're going to be then?"

He heard Jin take a breath. "Am I on speaker or something? Is Kame listening?"

"No, Kame's not here. Why?"

Jin sounded almost sad when he spoke again. "I feel kind of left out. I haven't been getting those messages on my phone like you guys. I don't know if it's because of my new number or what. At first I thought Kame was sending them, you know, to like, hint about his birthday ridiculously early or something. You know how he is. But I was out with Pi and Ryo and they had all those 'winter is coming' things too, and they said it was about Countdown, and it just made me...I don't know. Nostalgic. And I never really liked Countdown that much, but seeing those messages..."

This boded well, Taguchi realized. This boded better than well! If Jin was already getting warm and fuzzy feelings about Countdown, it wouldn't even be that hard to talk him into it. "Well, that's actually why we wanted to talk to you. All of us. Well, Kame doesn't know. It was Koki's idea."

Jin hesitated. "About what?"

"About Countdown. I don't want this to be awkward, but we were thinking of ways that would convince Johnny-san to let KAT-TUN host, and Kame's ideas are all kind of..."

"...stuff that makes sense in Kame's mind and nobody else's?" Jin finished for him.

"Exactly. And I'd feel kind of weird if we offered to cover the cost of Johnny-san's overactive bladder meds for a year."

Jin chuckled. "That does sound like something that would only make sense in Kame's head."

Taguchi gathered his courage. They were all counting on him. "Jin, would you host Countdown with us? I mean, if we went to Johnny-san and asked, would you agree to help us?"

"Taguchi..."

He decided to be firm about it. He knew he was one of the only people Jin had ever really listened to, so he had to be really convincing. "Look, Kame's not sleeping because he's been plotting this for weeks. And you know we've never been management's favorites for a while now. We're competing against Arashi and Kanjani8, and with the five of us, I'm really not sure we can make a compelling enough case. But nobody would expect you to show up with us, and I think that's the kind of thing we need to win."

"You know, it's always weird when you get serious."

"I can be plenty serious!" He paused. "Look, it's just an idea, and I think that the rest of us are going to go along with what Kame decides anyway just because he really wants to do this. But I think it would be great if you could be there, too."

Taguchi almost thought Jin had hung up before he heard him reply. "Let me think about it."

"That's all we ask."

"Don't be a stranger," Jin said. "We should have lunch or something."

"We should. Welcome back to Japan, Mister Ronin. I bet it must feel _samurai-teous_ to be home!"

"Some things never change. You're still creepy."

"I missed you, too."

\--

In his dreams, Yasu was climbing.

It always seemed so real, like he was on some sort of documentary program. He could feel the numbing winds, could feel the strain in his muscles as he struggled to pull himself upward. But dreams were odd things, Yasu knew. One minute he was scaling a snowy mountain, the next he was climbing a wall with bright colored numbers. And he could never reach the summit. He'd hear voices at the top, angry voices, and then he'd fall.

Ryo didn't bother to look up from the magazine he was reading as Yasu tried to explain his dream. "It sounds like you're on VS Arashi," he said dismissively, turning a page as the two of them waited in their green room. "The colored numbers on the wall."

Yasu scratched his chin. "But I've never been on VS Arashi before. Why would I dream about that?"

Ryo shrugged. "I dunno."

Yasu sighed. "You're no help," he said, unzipping his duffel bag and digging through the pile of books he'd been hauling around ever since he'd gotten out of the hospital. He'd consulted a least a dozen different dream dictionaries, none of which were providing him with the answers he really wanted.

He tried to look up 'climbing' and it told him that he was trying to overcome a great struggle. Well, no kidding, Yasu thought. Stupid dictionary. Yasu's struggle was trying to remember what had happened to him! And everything about climbing mountains had to do with ambition and stuff, and Yasu only considered himself average when it came to being ambitious. He was part of a group after all, so there was little point in trying to outshine his friends.

Yasu flipped through the latest dictionary he'd borrowed from one of the Kansai juniors, whose mom was really into divination and that sort of thing. The entries for climbing and mountains were similar. He sighed, looking up from the text. "Ryo-chan, have you had any dreams lately?"

Ryo finally met his eyes. "Why?"

"I don't know, maybe there's just something I'm not seeing when I read through here. If you told me about one of your own..."

Ryo considered this for a moment before turning back to his magazine without saying anything.

"Oh come on!" Yasu complained, getting up and trying to poke at Ryo's cheek. "Come on, you can tell me. You don't have to tell me if it's a sex dream or anything, I figure that's just normal for you."

Ryo started blushing. "Go away, you're annoying."

"Come on, I have amnesia about a twenty minute period of time. Take pity on me and let me analyze your pervert dreams!" he pleaded, trying to tickle his bandmate.

"If I tell you, will you go away?"

Yasu relented. "Okay. Okay."

Ryo looked back at his magazine. "I...dreamed about...spilling orange juice. All over myself."

"That was your dream?"

"Are you making fun of me?" he grumbled. "You asked, I answered."

"No! No, of course not, Ryo-chan!" Yasu said. Pfft, orange juice. What a stupid dream. At least climbing the VS Arashi wall was interesting. He paged through the dictionary. "Orange juice, orange juice. Okay it says here..." He skimmed the sentence and gasped.

"What?" Ryo asked, suddenly nervous. "What does it mean? Does it symbolize death? I don't want to die! I hate you! I hate you for asking me these stupid questions! Damn you!"

"Oh but it's not that bad, really." Yasu smiled. Talk about being spot on. "It says that if you spill or dump orange juice in your dream, it implies that you need to get out of your shell and be more sociable." He wrapped his arms around Ryo's neck. "See, your dream says you should be nicer to me."

"Get off me. I was lying."

He felt a little better now, having gotten Ryo to cough up some personal information. Any excuse to make Ryo squirm was worth it, even if it didn't solve his problem. In the end, he was just as lost as he'd been before. Climbing and climbing, and someone at the top was angry with him. Someone at the top made him fall. What the hell could that symbolize anyhow?

\--

When Nino regained consciousness, he wished he hadn't. He found himself in Yoko's car, which really needed to be cleaned out. There were dozens of fast food wrappers on the floor at his feet, and there was a "Scent of Justice" air freshener hanging off of the rearview mirror with the face of Jack Bauer from 24 cheaply printed on it. Nino soon realized that the Scent of Justice was more like the smell of cinnamon-scented shit.

They were on the highway, and Yoko's hands were pale as they gripped the steering wheel tightly. "This is abduction, you know," Nino pointed out.

"Oh yeah, well attacking Yasu in his hospital room was attempted murder, you little weasel!"

Nino adjusted in the seat. Yoko had been thoughtful enough to buckle him in for safety's sake, at least. But one quick check of his pocket revealed that Yoko had snatched his cell phone. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Those bakeries, Ninomiya. You think we're dumb or something?"

"Do you want me to answer that truthfully?"

Yoko growled, which would have sounded adorable to Nino if Yoko hadn't, you know, just kidnapped him. "Oh, real cute. That's why you and Arashi always get away with stuff. Because you're all cute. Look at my face, right? I always get called in, 'Yoko, that wasn't funny' or 'Yoko, twenty minutes of whining doesn't equal ratings,' but I bet they never say that to you guys."

He sighed. "Where are you taking me? Can I at least tell someone where we're going?"

Yoko signaled and got off the highway at the next exit. "I can't get a hold of Hina. So until I can, you're going to stay put."

"Please say you're at least paying for a hotel." But sadly Nino recognized the neighborhood. Yoko's neighborhood.

Yoko didn't say anything else until he parked in the garage under his building. To Nino's surprise, he realized Yoko was deadly serious when he came over and held out a steak knife when he opened the passenger side door. "Out of the car, let's go."

Stupid Aiba, trying to prank Yasuda at the hospital. Everything was getting way too out of hand for Nino's liking, and now he'd gotten himself abducted. He hadn't done anything wrong, after all. It was all Sho and Jun's ambition that had caused this whole mess. He walked dutifully into the building, Yoko behind him. When they arrived in the apartment, Nino frowned at the mess inside. Not that he kept the cleanest house, but at least he wasn't constantly losing things like Yokoyama was.

"So kidnapping and forced imprisonment. You are going to make some interesting friends in prison."

Yoko cuffed him on the back of the head. "What I do is righteous justice and vengeance for the person you hurt! You hurt my friend, my bandmate! If I ran Aiba-chan down with my car, wouldn't you seek revenge?"

Nino considered it. "Depends. Aiba-chan might have deserved it."

Yoko smacked him again. "Stop being such a dick all the time. Now wait here."

Nino dutifully waited in the living room while Yoko disappeared into his bedroom. A coward would have fled. Hell, a smart man would have fled, but now that he had to be a hostage for Arashi's sake, he'd stew for a while. If anything was going to get Sho and Jun to finally calm the hell down, it was Yoko holding him at knifepoint in his filthy apartment. He hoped.

Yoko returned with a pair of handcuffs, and Nino immediately reconsidered his decision not to flee.

He backed away. "Look, if you're into that kind of thing, give a man a heads up first..."

Yoko instead gestured to his bathroom. "In there. Nothing kinky. This is justice."

"This is you handcuffing me without a lick of evidence against me."

"We found your list of bakeries. We know about the scones, Nino."

Damn, he thought. Sho and Jun were going to be pissed, and as soon as he got out of lock-up here, he knew he'd face whatever punishments his bandmates saw fit to dole out. Even though he had a feeling that Leader had been the one to let the plan slip. He sighed, allowing Yoko to seat him on his toilet and cuff him to the small radiator in his bathroom.

Yoko leaned against the sink, arms crossed. "Okay, so you're trying to find the best scones so Johnny picks you for Countdown."

"The scones aren't for that."

"Oh really?"

It was the only card left that hadn't been played, the only part of the plan that wasn't out in the open. "Us coming to you about Countdown was a courtesy," Nino admitted. "But we never really intended to let you be involved."

Yoko stared at him. "What do you mean involved? That's what Countdown is, it's everyone."

Sho would kill him for telling, but what did Nino even care? He was handcuffed to a radiator and sitting on the lid of a toilet. What Yoko did with this information didn't much matter to him anymore. "Not this year," he explained. "Arashi's going to host Countdown this year, that much is the plan. But the scones were just additional insurance."

"Insurance for what?"

Nino smiled. "Find Johnny-san the best scones he'll ever taste, that's what Jun-kun said. Find those scones, and he'll let Arashi host Countdown this year. An Arashi Countdown. We'll sing every song. And we'll sing them alone."

Yoko looked petrified. "Alone? You mean...you mean a Countdown with _just_ Arashi?"

Jun and Sho were mad with power, and Nino had had enough. He nodded. "A Countdown with just Arashi."

\--

Tegoshi and Kei-chan were mad with power, and Shige had had enough. Someone had to think logically for a change. Tegoshi had gone rogue and dragged Massu along for the ride - he was getting messages from Massu almost hourly now, but he knew they'd been sent under Tegoshi's direction.

That if Tegoshi was feeling particularly merciful, Shige, Koyama, and the rest of NEWS would be shipped off to Osaka to perform at Countdown alongside Kanjani8. It would be the best choice for Ryo, but Shige knew it was mostly so Koyama wouldn't be able to steal the spotlight for himself. So much for group unity, Shige thought.

And now Kei-chan was hellbent on overthrowing the creepy alliance that had emerged between Tegoshi and TOKIO. "A Very Koyashige Countdown" was Koyama's newest idea, the two of them co-hosting while everyone from Matchy-san to Arashi to the juniors stayed in the background. Shige didn't necessarily hate the spotlight, but he didn't want everyone to hate him. If word got out to the other groups that NEWS was splintering into vicious factions intent on twisting Countdown to their own selfish ends, it didn't bode well for getting New Years' money from his senpai.

Though Kei-chan had long been one of the people in Shige's life who actually thought things through, Countdown had warped him into someone with a selfish streak a mile wide. He was only thinking about himself, and there'd never be A Very Koyashige Countdown if they didn't get help. They'd lost TOKIO to the Tegomasu faction, so Shige thought long and hard about forming a new alliance.

He knew he had some sway with Arashi. And by some he meant a little. And by a little he meant that at least Ohno liked him. They'd been fishing friends for ages now, and if Shige could get an Arashi endorsement for A Very Koyashige Countdown, then it would make the Tegomasu/TOKIO alliance look kind of sad in comparison. Arashi probably didn't want anything to do with Countdown - maybe they'd get invited back to Kouhaku again. Surely they didn't have time to make much of an appearance at Countdown.

He felt pretty damn clever when he met Ohno at the sporting goods store, right in front of the fishing lures. When they were out on the water, Ohno never talked that much. Shige didn't mind - fishing was about relaxing, about enjoying one another's company in peace. But they had a bond, didn't they, as men of the sea? He could talk with Ohno on a level few others could.

"Oh, Shige," Ohno said, barely making eye contact as he made straight for the salt water lures behind where Shige was standing. "They got the new Daiwa Shoreline Shiner model."

Shige turned, nodding. "Yep. New Megabass Zonk ones too. They're a little cheaper."

"Yeah," Ohno admitted, "but I've got a whole tackle box full of Megabass lures."

Shige was already losing him, seeing Ohno veer off toward the reels. His eyes were darting back and forth, far more alert than usual. "You like the new Saltiga?"

Ohno smiled. "84,000 yen. Do I dare?"

Considering that Ohno was wearing the same t-shirt he'd worn the last time Shige had seen him and the same flip flops on his feet to boot, he had no doubt that Ohno probably had enough money stashed away for such a purchase. It was interesting, the things Arashi's leader would crack open his wallet for.

"I don't know, you can probably get it cheaper online."

"Ah," Ohno admitted, "you're probably right. I should have my manager check Yahoo Auctions. He's better at that than I am."

He took a breath. "So...Ohno-kun..."

Shige nearly took a tumble into the fishing rods when Ohno whirled around to stare up into his face. "Shige-kun, I thought you were better than this."

He panicked as Ohno stared him down. "I...I don't know what you mean..."

Ohno backed away, picking up a lure from the shelf and examining it. "This is all so far over my head, this Countdown business. I thought it was for the fans, you know? Ringing in the New Year for them with songs and all that. But the things that Matsu-nii's told me..."

Shit, Shige thought. He'd forgotten how buddy buddy Ohno was with Matsuoka. And considering how much time Tegoshi had been spending with TOKIO, it wouldn't surprise him if Matsuoka had let the Tegomasu plan slip. Stupid, he told himself. It was stupid to think that he could get through to Ohno by banking on his inability to pay attention to much of anything.

"Well," Shige tried, "I mean, Tegoshi-kun's a bit out of control. Koyama and me, we're trying to keep him from going overboard."

"I don't believe that for a second," Ohno said. He grabbed another lure. "Oh, I like this one."

"So if I was to ask for Arashi's help in securing Countdown for...me and....I mean, for NEWS of course..."

Ohno shook his head. "I'm sorry, Shige. That's just not going to happen."

"Well, why not? Aren't you going to Kouhaku?"

He watched Ohno grab another lure and wander off, and Shige hurried to keep up with him as he headed for the cashier. The negotiations had ended before they'd even gotten started.

"Ohno-kun?" he asked one more time, whipping out his wallet. "What if I bought those lures for you? You couldn't even just hint to Johnny-san?"

Ohno shook his head. "I'm really sorry. It's all out of my hands."

"But you're the leader, aren't you? Don't you decide what Arashi does and does not do?"

Shige only got a sad pat on the shoulder and a frown from Ohno. "You have much to learn about the way things work." He accepted the bag from the cashier. "I'll call you the next time I'm going out on the water, okay?"

And Ohno left him there in the sporting goods store. Shige was more confused than ever.

\--

Nishikido Ryo would be a far happier man if he never had to hear the word "Countdown" again. It especially pissed him off because he was in two groups, both of which were acting like a bunch of idiots. On one side he had Kanjani8, who were idiots to begin with, but of a lovable kind of idiocy (not that Ryo would admit it if you asked him as much). But now they were all driven by this desire to overthrow Arashi when they should have just been happy to go to Osaka for New Year's, to go home.

And then on the other side Ryo had NEWS, clamoring and fighting like a bunch of junior high girls trying to win a popularity contest. Ryo hadn't much enjoyed junior high, and not just because most of the girls had been taller than him then and treated him more like their pet than a potential boyfriend. He was sick of Tegoshi trying to get him to pick a side. He was sick of Koyama trying to see if he was more loyal to Kanjani8. Ryo just wanted to be a free agent. He wanted to show up at Countdown, hang out with friends, and be done with it.

Which was why he couldn't understand Jin's pathetic crying right then. They were out at a Roppongi club together, one of their favorites, because now that Jin was back it was so much better to have a wing man he could count on. He'd tried using Yamapi as a wing man a few times, but he sucked at talking Ryo up. He'd be all "Ryo-chan sounds adorable when he sneezes" or "Ryo-chan loves girly cocktails." It wasn't the kind of manly talking up one needed in order to score with a hot foreign chick, so Ryo had initially been happy that Jin was back. If Jin was wasted enough, he'd tell girls that Ryo was hung like an elephant, which was far more helpful than talking about Ryo's sneezes.

But Jin hadn't gotten up from their table in the VIP room for two hours, downing beers and keeping the pair of them from trying their luck on the floor. He tried pulling Jin's newest bottle of beer away, but his friend held onto it stubbornly. "Would you stop being such a loser?" Ryo complained, leaning back against the booth. All around them were girls in skimpy tops, short skirts, and strappy heels, and Jin was being a crazy buzzkill.

"They asked me to come back," Jin was crying. "Isn't that the most beautiful thing ever?"

"I think you were damn lucky to not be included in this shit from the get go. It's a mess, dude. Why would you want to be part of this? You could be screwed over like me, with one group begging you to help them go to bakeries or some shit and the other group trying to get you to chip in to buy Nagase a cattle ranch so he could have a lifetime supply of beef."

Jin rubbed his eyes and sniffled. "But that's friendship, man. They love you and want you to be there. You know, I never really paid attention when I could have, but at this time every year Kame gets all weepy about Countdown. I just thought it was him PMS'ing or something..."

If anyone was PMS'ing, Ryo thought darkly, it was Akanishi Jin, but he didn't say it out loud.

"So it's like, his dream, Ryo. Hosting is Kame's dream," Jin continued. "I got to go to America, I got to follow my own dreams. What kind of dick would I be if I didn't help Kame reach his?"

"A smart one."

Jin shoved him. "You don't mean it, you asshole," Jin laughed. "But really, I mean, Taguchi asked me to help and he wouldn't have gone to the trouble if he didn't mean it. And I guess it might be fun to host, I don't know, maybe I could just ask to go live via satellite and just chill with Tackey the whole night..."

He preferred getting wasted with Akanishi, not being his life choice sounding board. But things were starting to become clear. Things that could make Ryo's life far easier. "Well, if KAT-TUN hosts, it would be a lot of pressure off of me," Ryo realized. "I mean, I wouldn't have Yokoyama telling me to stalk Matsujun at The Body Shop, I wouldn't have Koyama sending me mails every two minutes..."

"Right?" Jin said, seemingly cheered. "So...I mean, do you think it would be weird though, calling Kame and saying I'll help?"

"Oh, it would definitely be weird." Jin smacked him. "But I say go for it."

"Maybe I will..."

Ryo smiled at the girl in the red tube top who'd been eyeing him for a while. He had to look good now, comforting his friend like a sensitive, nice guy. "Great, that's great, Jin. Now that you've stopped crying, maybe you can go tell that girl some awesome things about my tongue..."

\--

Ohkura Tadayoshi was not fond of wasting his time. And when Hina had left him an angry voicemail saying he had to go to about ten bakeries in the Osaka metro area, it sounded more like an order than a request. So Hina was just lucky that he'd demanded Ohkura go to bakeries and not any other places. He would have definitely said no to furniture stores or something.

Of course, he and Subaru were still stuck at bakery number one on account of them having the greatest cupcakes he had ever tasted in his life.

"You know," Subaru said, watching Ohkura bite into his ninth cupcake (red velvet!!). "I don't think we're going to make it to all the places Hina said at this rate."

Ohkura rolled his eyes. "So?"

"But Hina said it was important." Subaru sighed. "Do you think we'll be able to make it back to Tokyo tonight?"

"No."

"I've got stuff to do tomorrow, Tacchon."

"So?" Man, the cream cheese frosting on this was clearly sent from heaven, he thought as he took another bite.

"So maybe we should...try a scone? Like we were supposed to?"

"Do you really care about hosting Countdown though?" Ohkura asked him, taking a sip of milk before eyeing the cupcake that was sitting on Subaru's plate, still uneaten. "You're older than Hina, you don't have to obey him. He's not your mom."

"I guess not."

Ohkura didn't want to host Countdown. He was very happy that Kanjani8 got to perform for the fans in Osaka, even though it meant not getting to see everyone in Tokyo. So he didn't understand why Hina, who Ohkura considered to not be an idiot, had gotten it in his head that they had to try and compete with Arashi. He also didn't understand why Yoko, who Ohkura usually did consider an idiot, had gotten it in his head that Kanjani8 had targets on their back.

Speaking of Yoko, Ohkura checked his phone to find 147 unheard messages, all from him. "What the hell?" he grumbled, tossing the phone on the table. Subaru picked it up and put it on speaker while Ohkura helped himself to Subaru's uneaten cupcake.

"First unheard message," his phone announced. "Tacchon, this is Yoko, call me back."

"Second unheard message...Tacchon, Yoko here. Kind of important. Call me!"

Subaru hit the button to advance the messages.

"Heeey Tacchon, if you get this, can you call me back? It's Yoko, really need your help here. Thanks!"

"Tacchon, where are you? I can't get a hold of Hina."

"Tacchon, I can't reach Hina and Maru's filming something or other and Ryo has his phone off and I don't want to put Yasu in harm's way. Call me!"

Subaru scowled at the phone. "And what about me? My phone's been on all day!"

"Tacchon, seriously, pick up your phone. This is urgent anti-Arashi business."

"Ohkura Tadayoshi, answer your phone!"

By the thirtieth message, Yoko was openly weeping over the phone line. "He's in my car, oh my god, oh my god, they hit him with a gumball dispenser!"

Ohkura and Subaru met each other's gazes, increasingly confused. Subaru advanced the messages again.

"Sixty-seventh unheard message...Do you...do you think they got to Hina? I mean, he was staying with Aiba-chan. What if...what if he brought Hina to the zoo and locked him in the gorilla cages? Oh, and call me!"

"Hey Tacchon, Yoko again. Ahh, I think he's going to wake up soon...would you mind looking up some legal stuff for me? About kidnapping? I might be in trouble..."

Ohkura took another bite of his cupcake, shaking his head. Maybe this was some kind of performance art. Subaru skipped ahead again.

"Well, thanks for nothing. I'll be interrogating Nino here until further notice. If you can get Hina on the line, let him know, okay?"

"What was that about?" Ohkura muttered, licking the last bit of frosting from his thumb and taking his phone back. He barely noticed the two members of ABC-Z leaving the bakery behind them.

"It sounds like Yokocho kidnapped Nino-kun," Subaru said, tenting his fingers and looking serious. "Maybe Nino was the one who tried to kill Yasu."

"We should probably tell Hina, let him deal with it," Ohkura admitted.

But then one of the bakery staff came over to the table. "Can we get you any more cupcakes? Half off on double chocolate."

Subaru was about to decline in favor of Kanjani8 business, but Ohkura just beamed at the staff member. "I think we'll take another dozen."

 

 **Chapter 6: A Golden Crown**

It had been a day blissfully free of drama thanks to turning off his phone and watching DVD after DVD of World Cup highlights from various years on Aiba's TV. His host had gone away on an overnight trip for some location filming, leaving Hina alone. It was an obvious show of trust, or Aiba had the place wired, but Hina didn't much care since he'd spent the entire day ignoring any attempts at human contact. Aiba had nothing on him.

But the time came when he wanted something to eat, and Aiba's refrigerator yielded very little. He thought he'd be safe, going out just after midnight to the 24 hour convenience store down the block, but he supposed he should have known better as Ikuta Toma leapt out at him from behind the netted garbage area beside Aiba's building.

"Hina."

Hina kept walking, bound and determined to ignore his friend.

"Hiiiiiiiiiina."

"I'm just going to get food, Toma-kun. I'm this close to going to the police and getting a restraining order on you."

"As well you could," Toma said. "By the smile on your face I can tell you haven't heard what my little birds have related to me."

"Don't care."

"But it's really interesting, you see, really interesting."

"Still don't care. Unless a member of my group is dead or dying, I really don't care about this shit." He kind of cared, but at this point he'd delegated most of the Countdown mess to Yoko, since he was more keen on plotting and looking for scones. Hina had to be the unknowing one, the one that Arashi couldn't mess with - so when he went to Johnny-san in the end, it would surprise them.

"So if I told you that Kanjani and Arashi aren't the only ones in the game, it wouldn't bother you?"

"Not really."

"KAT-TUN's in play now."

"Let Arashi worry about KAT-TUN. They're no threat to Kanjani8."

"Brave words," Toma said, following him into the convenience store. "And then of course, there's NEWS. Talk about a mess there. Tegoshi and Masuda are trying to curry favor with TOKIO. Koyama and Kato are up to something too, my sources tell me."

"Again, it's just more people for Sho-kun and Matsujun to buy off, it doesn't concern us."

Toma cornered him in the instant ramen aisle. "So if I told you that Yokoyama's abducted Ninomiya, would you still not care?"

Hina stopped, hand clutched around a ramen cup. "Yoko did _what_?"

"Maybe you should have checked your phone today, Hina. Arashi's definitely not going to take this lying down. It's a blow to their pride, having one of their own locked away. Yoko's got balls, I'll give him that, but if it's been a cold war up until now, I'd say abducting Nino's proof that you've gone on the offensive. As far as my sources tell me, he's got Nino locked in his apartment."

"I didn't say he could do that..." He set the ramen cup down, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 182 unheard messages and 403 unread messages. He clicked down through the list. Yokoyama. Yokoyama. Yokoyama. Yokoyama. Yokoyama. "Oh my god, that idiot." And then as he kept clicking, it grew far more alarming. Yokoyama. Matsumoto. Sakurai. Yokoyama. Sakurai. Sakurai. Matsumoto. Matsumoto. Sakurai. "They know?"

"They know."

Shit.

\--

The cell phone had been sitting on his desk for at least twenty minutes now, and Akanishi Jin knew that he had to make the call himself. He couldn't call Nakamaru and con him into doing it. He couldn't call Taguchi and just back out because of fear. No, this was something he had to do. If things in the jimusho had gotten as ridiculous as Ryo had implied, then it really was up to Jin to help KAT-TUN out.

Kame's number had been one of the first he'd programmed into his new phone, but he hadn't dialed it yet. So he hesitated another 20 minutes before finally dialing and hoping for the best.

As Jin expected, Kame didn't answer in the most cheerful manner, but since Taguchi explained how Kame had been torturing himself lately over this Countdown business, Jin decided not to be offended.

"What the hell do you want?"

Well, not too offended.

"Hi Kame, it's me. Jin."

"I know. Taguchi gave me your new number."

"Oh." So maybe the others had already told Kame about their plans. He wondered how Kame had taken it. "So like, I heard that uh, that winter was coming?"

"Are you the one sending the messages? Is it you? Is this all some ploy to promote yourself because it's pretty stupid..."

"No!" he exclaimed, a bit frightened by the paranoia in Kame's voice. He could already imagine him, his friend for so many years, hunkered down in his bedroom in the dark, eyes darting back and forth. "No, it's not me."

"Look Jin, I'm busy..."

"Planning for Countdown, right?"

Kame paused. "...yes."

"Look, I've been talking with some people. About Countdown. And I kind of...would like to be there..."

"I see."

"And I mean, I get the impression that the other groups are going to war and shit over it. That's not cool, so like, uh..."

Kame sounded almost nice then. "Jin, what are you trying to say? Just spit it out."

"I was...hoping that you and the guys would let me, uh, help. I want to help KAT-TUN out. I'm not trying to start shit, and maybe Johnny-san will say no, but...I mean, you guys are important to me, and if there's any way I can help you kick Arashi's or NEWS' or Kanjani's ass..."

"Are you being serious right now?"

He swallowed. This was his last chance to laugh, to tell Kame he was just messing with him. To get hung up on and have to hear about it from Koki later on. But he didn't want to do that. For some reason, he really thought he owed them as much after everything.

"Yes, I'm being serious."

Kame almost sounded like he was going to laugh. "But Jin, you've always hated Countdown. You told me that a small part of you died every time you sang Tackey and Tsubasa's Venus."

"Oh, that hasn't changed."

"Well, okay then. But if you're really going to commit to this, you have to put in a hundred percent effort. We're playing to win." Kame chuckled. "I can't believe you really want to help."

"I miss you guys," he said, sniffling a bit.

"Don't cry, that's too much," Kame said. "Okay, I'll add you to the mailing list. I've got the latest batch of edits to the plan, and they should be going out tonight."

Jin realized that Kame was out of his damn mind, but at least it would feel like old times again. "You got it."

\--

This would not stand, Matsumoto Jun vowed as he hung up his phone for the 20th time that hour. Sho was hysterical and panicky, wondering if they ought to just storm Yokoyama's building in a rescue attempt to get Nino away from them, but Jun knew the damage had already been done.

So maybe they'd initially gone too far when it came to Yasuda. He and Sho had done their best to keep everything secret, whether it was the Countdown plot or their relationship, but all their work was getting pissed down the drain. Sure, it was kind of a dick move on Arashi's part to want Countdown all to themselves, but now that they'd committed themselves to the idea it would be cowardly to back out.

After all, he and Sho had all their spies to account for financially, and Arashi always paid their debts. Plus, if they backed out of the plan, they'd obviously lose their kohai's respect. It was a ballsy group indeed that went after what they wanted with the passion Arashi had. And to think, it had all started as a joke in their green room, Nino's offhand comment about Arashi hosting "everything" that year.

Now Nino was in Kanjani8's clutches. Who knew what kinds of methods Yokoyama was employing to get Nino talking? Not that Nino would be that difficult to coerce anyhow. Jun was well aware of Nino's tendency toward self-preservation, quite possibly the highest in their entire group. Nino had probably spilled everything by now if Yoko had threatened him badly enough.

So instead of going directly for Nino, he decided that his best chance at negotiating would be to talk to Murakami while Sho worked on the scones list. Yoko had always been a wild card, and there was no telling what he'd do if Jun broke into his apartment. He used his spare key to open Aiba's door. Masaki wouldn't be home for another day, and Jun frowned at the mess inside. Murakami's things were strewn all around the living room, and about ten different soccer DVD cases littered Aiba's table along with several empty beer cans. While the cat's away, Jun thought, rolling his eyes.

He went into Aiba's bedroom, ignoring the piles of clothes and dirty magazines as he dug through the closet. He finally found what he was looking for, pulling out a long wooden item, hollowed out with noisy beads within. Some rain stick Aiba had picked up on his trip to Africa a few years back. He supposed Aiba's baseball bat would have been threat enough, but he didn't want to actually hurt Murakami. He could at least convince him that the beads inside the rain stick were tiny little bugs that could eat him in his sleep - that would definitely get Hina paranoid.

Taking the rain stick back into the living room, he sat on the couch and worked on his most threatening expression. Within 20 minutes, the door opened, and a shell-shocked Murakami entered with a convenience store bag. He froze as soon as he saw Jun waiting for him on the couch.

"B-b-breaking and entering," Hina accused him, and Jun had to admit that it was kind of funny to see Murakami losing his shit. It wasn't something he got to see every day. But he couldn't really enjoy it when Nino's freedom was at stake.

He wiggled the rain stick. "They make these in Africa. Has Aiba-chan told you about it?"

Hina shook his head.

"You hear the rattle? It's all insect shells. They say that sometimes the bugs aren't always dead when they seal them up in there..."

Hina shuddered and headed for the kitchen, setting down the plastic bag. "Look Matsujun, I don't need this right now. I've got a bug infestation at my own apartment, you're telling me that thing has bugs in it, and now apparently one of my bandmates has gone off the deep end, and it's really all your fault."

"All my fault that Yokoyama had a bunch of nerds stuff Nino in his car? What's next, is he going to send a ransom note? A finger?"

He returned from the kitchen with a beer and none to offer Jun. It was almost as though he'd resigned himself to staying in Aiba's living room. "Well, maybe if you hadn't attacked Yasuda, it wouldn't have come to this."

"I don't know what you mean."

Hina nearly threw his beer can at him. "What happened to us, Matsujun? What the hell? What's with all the scheming? It's just Countdown, it's not like Johnny-san's giving away a cash prize to his most ambitious group."

He couldn't show weakness. Arashi had to stay committed, even if Hina was making a lot of sense. Jun was just too competitive to give in. He shook the rain stick, seeing Hina recoil at the sound of the not bugs within it. "Just have Yoko let Nino go, and we'll be far more agreeable."

"Oh come on," Hina said. "Think of those two. They're probably playing video games right now. It's not really abduction so long as Nino's been fed and entertained."

This was why Jun hated matching wits with Murakami. "Sounds like Stockholm syndrome to me."

"Do you really think anyone could possibly develop Stockholm syndrome if Yokoyama's their kidnapper?"

He shook the rain stick again, far more menacingly.

"Stooooop!" Hina screamed. "Get out of here! Get out, get out, Matsumoto, get out!"

Jun got to his feet. "I look forward to your phone call. When you confirm that Nino's been released, unharmed."

He left the apartment in a huff, coming face to face with Toma, who was casually lurking in the hallway.

"I see you're never far behind," he said, raising an eyebrow.

Jun had always respected Toma. He was smarter than most people gave him credit for. "Ah, when my friends are fighting, I like to make myself available. You know, as a sounding board."

He headed for the elevator. "Yeah, I bet."

Toma stayed in step with him. "I just follow the money, Jun-kun."

"That's from a movie, isn't it?"

"Well..." Toma blushed. "Ah, yeah."

"So you know about Nino then."

"I know everything worth knowing."

"Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls," Jun said darkly. If they were going to have a quoting contest...

"Dark forces?" Toma asked with a smile. "You don't mean _me_ , do you?"

"I'll talk to you later," he said as he got in the elevator.

Toma's face changed. "Wait, was that from Harry Potter? That's so lazy!" Toma complained as the elevator doors closed in his face.

\--

Tegoshi didn't necessarily dislike his bandmates. In fact, if he had to answer truthfully, he'd say that he loved Koyama and Shige like they were his brothers. But they'd gone too far, and it was time to rein them back in. Tegoshi was no fool. He knew they were plotting their own Countdown.

So when the news came down from on high and Taichi related it to him, Tegoshi ensured that Shige wasn't told. He convinced Shige's manager that it was something he wanted to "surprise" him with, and the man hadn't questioned it. It was really something that just had to be done so he could see Shige's face. It was great news, after all. Spectacular news, and Tegoshi just had to be there when it happened.

Any worries he had about Koyama and Shige not showing up were slim. Sending out the invitation from Matsuoka and having Nagase include a Polaroid of himself holding an "I love Koyama and Shige!" sign was clearly enough to get the two of them to show up for the party at Taichi's apartment.

Tegoshi thought long before that he'd grow sick of partying with TOKIO. They regularly drank him under the table, but he'd built up a tolerance, and even Massu was starting to come around on the idea of a Tegomasu and TOKIO Countdown. Now he just had to stick it to Koyama, and life would be grander than it could ever be.

He even opened the door and escorted his bandmates inside. "So glad you could make it," he said with a smile as a nervous-looking Shige stepped over the threshold. "Ah, Kei-chan, I'm glad you came, truly."

"This smells like a trap," Shige said. "We should probably refuse any drinks we didn't pour ourselves."

Koyama nodded. "So Tegoshi, what's the big announcement this time? Have you finally talked to Johnny-san about Countdown?"

Actually, there hadn't been a lot of action on that front, not that Tegoshi was too worried. TOKIO partied and worked and partied some more, and Tegoshi was happy to be along for the ride. They could talk to Johnny-san in due time. Taichi had repeatedly ensured him that Arashi would probably give up their ambitions before the month was out due to their numerous commitments. It was all about timing, really.

"If you'll just come this way, I think I'll let Leader fill you guys in."

Joshima was at the center of Taichi's living room, arm around Nagase's waist for moral support. He was openly weeping in his joy, and as soon as he saw Shige approach he ran over to embrace him. Massu came over to him, shaking his head. "It's mean to do it this way. You know this is going to crush him."

"He sold me, you know," he reminded Massu. "Like a piece of meat."

"And you've clearly been suffering," Massu said with a sigh, gesturing to the silver and black skull friendship bracelet on Tegoshi's wrist - a gift from his new BFF for life, Nagase.

"I made the most of my situation, okay? Ugh, you are such a downer sometimes. This is for the both of us, you know."

Shige was still being smashed by Leader's hug while Koyama's eyes were darting all around the room from TOKIO member to TOKIO member. "What's going on?" Koyama finally asked. "What's the good news you said we had to be here for?"

"Our play, Shige! Bitter Orange!" Joshima cried happily. "The company wants us to do more performances!"

"Seriously?" Shige asked, sounding suspicious.

"That's right, Kato-kun," Taichi said slyly. "And you'd best pack warm. I hear it's cold in Hokkaido come January."

"Come January?" Shige squeaked.

Joshima hugged Shige again. "You and me in Sapporo, ringing in the New Year with a week's worth of performances!"

"At New Year's?" Shige asked. "But that means...I'd have to miss Countdown..."

"You!" Koyama accused Tegoshi. "You did this! I don't know how, but you did this!"

Tegoshi feigned surprise. "What? But isn't that great news? Shige, congratulations! I know you'll do great! We'll miss you!"

But there was no faking the surprise when Koyama launched himself at Tegoshi, fingers wrapping around his neck as they fell to Taichi's hardwood floor. "I'll kill you, I swear, I'll kill you! This was supposed to be A Very Koyashige Countdown! You ruined it! You ruined everything with your cute, lovable face!"

Tegoshi gasped, looking up at Massu for help. He halfheartedly tried to pry Koyama off of him, and Shige was still trapped with Joshima.

"How could you do this to me?" Koyama squealed. "We had a contract. We had a contract!"

"These things happen," Taichi said, and Tegoshi was rather distressed to see that none of the members of TOKIO were hurrying to his rescue. As though Koyama strangling Tegoshi on the floor wasn't horrible at all.

"To...Tomoya-chaaan," Tegoshi managed to squeak, and finally his prayers were answered. He gasped as Nagase came and pulled Koyama into his embrace, picking him up like a rag doll.

"Ah, it's great to see you guys," Nagase said, hugging Koyama. "Isn't it great that more people will get to see the play?"

Kei-chan struggled against him. "A Very Koyashige Countdown! You destroyed it!"

"Calm down, Koyama," Taichi said. "You're killing my buzz. Masuda, get me another beer."

Tegoshi got to his feet, rubbing his neck. Thankfully he had a brand new scarf from Nagase that would hide the bruises Koyama had probably left on his skin. "You're just going to let him get away with that?" he asked the members of TOKIO, struggling to breathe.

Matsuoka headed for Taichi's kitchen, reemerging with a bottle of liquor. "Here, it's not a celebration until we do some shots. To Bitter Orange!"

Nagase grabbed the bottle away. "Congratulations, Kato-kun! And Koyama, you should be happier for your friend."

Koyama was hysterical. "I can't be happy! You've all taken my dreams and stomped them into a fine paste! You're all terrible human beings! I have nothing! I have nothing at all!"

Nagase just chuckled. "Aww, poor baby. Thought you had the Countdown crown and it got snatched away. Here, let me make it better. Open your mouth and say 'ahhh,'" Nagase said, trying to hold Koyama still as he opened the bottle of liquor. But Koyama kept his head down, weeping openly.

Tegoshi could only look on in amusement, seeing Massu's horror, Shige's irritation, and TOKIO's disbelief as Nagase poured the entire bottle of Goldschlager over Koyama's head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 7: You Win or You Die**

Aiba Masaki was ridiculously full, patting his stomach as their dinner plates were taken away. It had been a rough few days. He'd gone down to Okinawa for filming, spending hours of his life sitting in the sand waiting for sea turtles to arrive on shore to lay their eggs, ending up with more sand in his crotch than any man should have to endure. Then he'd returned home to his apartment to find Hina had broken open the rain stick he'd gotten in Africa, leaving the floors covered in the tiny pebbles because he thought there'd been bugs inside it. Where the hell had he gotten such a stupid idea in his head? And of course, he still hadn't found his Housewife Hunters DVD, even though he'd sworn it had been in his bedroom.

But now he could finally relax. Well, as much as a man whose close friend had been kidnapped by another close friend could relax. Aiba hadn't really thought Yoko was capable of kidnapping. For one, Nino was kind of slippery and difficult to keep hold of for long periods of time. And for two, it only made Sho-chan and Matsujun angry, and Aiba was worried about how they were planning to retaliate.

He and Leader were both out for dinner with Matsuoka, and Leader hadn't heard from Nino yet - it had been a few days, and even though Nino had been off work, pretty soon they had variety filming to do, and Nino's absence would definitely be noticed. That wouldn't be easy to explain to their managers.

Even now Leader was looking as antsy as he could get. Though he looked exactly the same, Aiba knew him better than most people did. He could see the subtle changes - the way he tapped his foot under the table, the way his eyes would perk any time Matsu-nii mentioned the word "game" in conversation. Nino's absence weighed heavily on him, mostly because the first one Johnny-san would yell at about it was Ohno anyway. The burdens of leadership. Aiba was pretty sure Leader was going to downright freak out if they didn't get out of the restaurant soon. But of course, even though the two of them were pretty lax when it came to showing Matsu-nii his due as a senpai, their meal had been on him so they had to do what he said.

And even though Aiba was full, when Matsu-nii got up and smiled, declaring that all three of them just had to go to this bakery in the neighborhood, they had to obey. He and Ohno's eyes met at the mention of bakery, and they dutifully followed Matsuoka from the restaurant. They stayed behind a bit, Ohno linking their arms as they walked.

"Aiba-chan, I got a message from Sho-kun in the restaurant," he whispered.

"Did he and Matsujun go rescue Nino? I don't care how many heist movies Matsujun has seen, Yoko's building has pretty good security. He sometimes calls his place the CTU, but I don't know what that means."

"It's not about Nino," Leader said, shaking his head. "It's about the plan moving forward. Sho-kun said we have a new ally for when the occasion presented itself."

"The hell does that mean?"

Leader shrugged. "You're asking me?"

This whole Countdown plan had gotten wildly out of control, and Aiba wasn't sure he wanted to be a part of it anymore. Not when Hina was sneaking resentful looks at him at home and Yoko was abducting people and kids from Hey Say Jump were stalking him in Okinawa. He'd sworn that he'd seen Yabu-kun watching him at the beach with binoculars and Inoo-kun following him at the airport in one of those motorized airport staff carts.

"Oi, slowpokes!" Matsu-nii called, waving his hand. "Shake a leg, they're almost out!"

He and Ohno hurried down the street to enter the small bakery Matsuoka had brought them to. Aiba didn't recognize it from the list Sho-chan had pulled together. It was kind of off the main street, tiny and a little dirty from the outside, which was probably why Sho had skipped it.

"Here," Matsu-nii said as soon as they entered. He already had a small box waiting for him. "You have to try these. I swear, these are the best scones in Tokyo."

"Scones?" Ohno asked. Did TOKIO know? Or was it just a coincidence?

Matsuoka pushed one in Aiba's face, and he could smell the orange glaze. "Try it."

He gave Ohno a nod, accepting the scone and taking a huge bite. In the past few weeks, Aiba had probably tried about 50 different scones, and yet none of them had been as amazing as this one. "Johnny-san will..." Aiba blurted out before hurriedly closing his mouth. He was so enraptured by the taste of the sweet treat that he'd forgotten Matsuoka was standing right there in front of him.

Ohno tried one too, his face lighting up as he tasted perfection himself. Matsu-nii just looked between them. "What about Johnny-san?"

"Nothing!" he and Ohno declared, taking another bite of their scones before sneaking a smile at each other. They'd finally done it.

\--

They'd finally done it! And nobody was happier than Shibutani Subaru. He and Tacchon were probably going to need medical attention and a very good dentist because they'd stayed in Osaka far longer than they'd planned. For three days straight, they'd moved from bakery to bakery, sampling every scone in sight with a few intermittent bathroom breaks and sleep breaks at manga cafes.

The two of them looked pretty disgusting, Subaru had to admit. Tacchon's mouth was just about the only thing that worked now as he was running on maybe 2 cumulative hours of sleep at best, and Subaru had to drag him from place to place so he could hand feed Ohkura a new scone. The answer would be a "Yeah" or a "No" and they'd be off to the next bakery. It had been a while since Subaru had even tried one, leaving it to Tacchon to decide.

It was kind of like leading a blind prophet through the streets of Osaka. And they were lucky they were in Osaka - nobody thought it was really strange to see two unshowered, strange men wandering around in search of sweets whereas in Tokyo the paparazzi would have descended and the two of them would have been Friday'ed as having bizarre mental disorders.

But finally Ohkura had declared Bonbon's Brownie Palace to be the place, a kind of dingy little place out in the suburbs. Subaru thought they had tasted pretty good, but Tacchon had ended up writhing on the floor in some sort of food ecstasy before rising to his feet, eyes wide, to declare that they needed to buy about five dozen scones to ship to Hina in Tokyo immediately.

Of course, since they'd spent all their money on their short overnights in the manga cafes and on sweets, they were now broke. But Subaru knew how to remedy the situation. He was smarter than most people gave him credit for. He opened his phone and dialed.

"Shibuyan, good morning!"

He blinked. "Wait, it's morning?" He looked out the window to see the sun shining. It had been an odd few days. "Ah, yes, morning."

Maru sounded chipper on the other end of the line. "Did you and Tacchon have any luck with the scones?"

"Ah...we're still working on that actually," Subaru lied, immediately feeling awful, but this wasn't something he could explain to Maru. He didn't want to admit how broke and desperate he and Ohkura were. It would just make Maru worry more, so a little white lie couldn't hurt.

"Did you know that Yoko abducted Nino? That's crazy, right?"

"Sure is," Subaru said, "anyhow, what do you think of...Housewife Hunters 15?" Ohkura gave Subaru an irritated look, but Subaru waved him off, gesturing for him to get the grand total for the scones and the shipping.

"Wait, there's a Housewife Hunters _15_? 14 just came out, and I only just got that one! I'm on the production company's email list and everything!"

"Yeah, I'm uh...I'm here at the store, and they've got this limited edition Blu-ray with all kinds of deleted scenes and special features. It says on the box there's only, like, 100 of these available. Did you want me to get it for you?" Subaru knew Maru pretty well, he thought. Limited edition porn? Talk about some Shibutani genius plotting.

"Deleted scenes? What kind of deleted scenes?"

Subaru had to think on his feet, not always the easiest thing to do, but if it meant the success of Kanjani8, he'd do his best. "Well, I think there's a part where they've got the housewife on all fours, wearing just an apron, and she's scrubbing the tile in the bathroom. So they come up behind her, and the guy's slapping her on the ass with some of those rubber scrub gloves and says, 'hey, okaa-san, let me help you tackle that grout'..."

Ohkura smacked him as a few old ladies gave him dirty looks as they lined up to buy baked goods.

"Sounds hot," Maru said.

"I know, right? So let me pick this up for you..."

Ohkura started holding up fingers to indicate the pricing for the scones. Holy crap, Subaru thought. "Yeah, Maru-chan, it's a really limited edition. So if you could just give me your credit card number, I'll grab it for you."

"Ah, Shibuyan, you are the best friend a guy could ask for," Maru said, obviously tearing up on the other end of the line. "Hold on just a second."

"What are you going to do when there's no DVD to give him?" Tacchon chided him.

"It's Maru-chan," he hissed back, hand covering the phone's mouthpiece. "He'd forgive me if I ran down his grandma on a moped, he's a nice guy."

Ohkura rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot."

"Shibuyan, I am all ready!"

Ohkura scribbled down the price and held it up. "Alright, this is going to show up on your credit card statement as Bonbon's Brownie Palace."

Maru giggled. "Sounds kinky!"

Subaru smiled. "You have no idea."

\--

Nino was pretty sure he smelled like a sewer. He'd spent the first day of captivity handcuffed to Yoko's toilet. And because of Yoko's dedication to the task, he'd had to listen as Yoko peed in the bathtub instead, desperately looking away in disgust. Eventually, though, Yoko had been unable to prevent nature's call.

He'd moved Nino into the living room when it was time for number two, but he'd kept the bathroom door open to ensure that Nino couldn't leave his sight. "Aiba-chan's seen me take a dump a dozen times," Yoko had oddly decided to brag. "Grow up, Ninomiya."

Yoko was not an entirely horrible captor though. Any initial threats on Yoko's part to cuff Nino to the small balcony outside his apartment had not been fulfilled. Not because of paparazzi or anything reasonable. No, Yoko had convinced himself that Sho and Jun were planning an aerial rescue of Nino, complete with helicopters and a SWAT team. This was, of course, the way Yoko's mind worked after foregoing sleep for 36 hours.

He'd been fed, poorly, but Nino was used to living off of snacks so what would have left Jun-kun sobbing allowed Nino to regain his strength. His head still hurt a bit, but he was dead set on escaping Yoko's clutches on his own. If Jun and Sho hadn't even come over to knock on the door in nearly two days, Nino was convinced that they simply weren't coming. And while it hurt, knowing he was apparently this expendable, he supposed that they had their reasons for abandoning him.

So Nino watched Yoko down energy drinks in hopes of staying awake. "Any minute now," Yoko would keep saying, "any minute they're going to call with terms. But I'm not going to play their little game. I'm not an idiot."

Well, Nino thought, a smart kidnapper would at least have a partner. Yoko hadn't called any of his bandmates over to help relieve him for a few hours so he could get some sleep. Yoko was so deadset on emulating his hero Jack Bauer's ability to stay up for 24 hours straight that he couldn't see reason. And that, Nino knew, was how he was going to escape.

Yoko was digging through a pile of DVDs on his floor, looking kind of drowsy. "I was going to watch some...adult...videos..."

Nino wrinkled his nose. "It's your apartment, I guess. But, I mean, could you at least move me to another room or something if you're going to jack it?"

"Aiba-chan and I have..."

"Please," Nino begged, shutting his eyes. "You don't have to tell me every damn thing you and Aiba-chan have done together. Truly, your bromance is touching, but..."

Yoko rolled his eyes. "You clearly don't understand real friendship. And just for that I am not going to move you."

Nino was cuffed to the radiator next to Yoko's couch, and he stayed as far from Yoko as he could as he put a disc in his DVD player and grabbed a box of tissue from his side table. This was hell, Nino realized. He thought forced exercise was hell, but this was actually worse.

But as soon as the DVD started playing and Yoko settled down on the couch, he was out like a light. Nino's eyes widened at the first of Yoko's snores - he hadn't even unzipped his pants, and Nino thanked every god in existence for that. "Oi, Yoko," he hissed, testing how deep a sleep it was. "Kimitaka. Oi, Kimitaka!"

Yoko didn't move, and Nino went from hell to heaven in a second. He wriggled across the couch slowly, as far as the cuffs would allow him to move while the porn video emitted its usual noises. Yoko had kept the key in his pocket, and Nino had no qualms about sticking his hand in a friend's pocket if it meant his escape. He gave Yoko's cheek a tentative poke and was rewarded with a noisy snore and a mumbled "Where are the terrorists?" He ganked the key from inside Yoko's pocket and had the cuffs undone in a second, rubbing his wrists in sweet freedom.

He stepped around Yoko's mess to retrieve his cell phone. A truly vindictive person would handcuff Yoko in turn, but escape was far more pressing. He opened a window to let some fresh air into the apartment and left, closing the door as gently as he could behind him.

He ached, stretching as he walked down the hallway. Logically, his first call should have been to another member of Arashi, but he'd been stuck watching Yoko poop for two days and none of them had done anything about it. He didn't want Arashi to win Countdown, not really. Not now. But after his suffering, he wasn't so sure Kanjani8 deserved it either. He found himself dialing a different number.

Nino waited outside of Yoko's apartment, smiling broadly as Kamenashi's car pulled up half an hour later. Kame was immediately suspicious. "Of all the people you know, why did you call me?"

"Because I knew that you'd come," Nino said sweetly, getting into Kame's car and buckling himself in. After all, he'd promised Kame "vital information." There was no way he could resist.

"You smell terrible," Kame complained, rolling down his windows in disgust. "So what's this information I need?"

"Not until you drop me at my place." And Nino did withhold said information until Kame pulled up in front of his building, hands jittery on the steering wheel. But because Arashi always repaid its debts, he turned to Kame with a smile.

"You look creepy," Kame said. "Tell me already."

He leaned over to whisper one word in Kame's ear.

"Scones."

\--

By some miracle, Subaru and Ohkura hadn't been stupid enough to ship the box of scones to Aiba's apartment. Unfortunately though, it meant he had to head back to his own building. With each step forward, Hina knew he was closer to a place where cockroaches and various other vermin had been roaming. But he had to be brave. Surely the fumigation was done by now.

And it was. The building looked the same as always as he tiptoed into the lobby, checking every corner and light fixture for nasty bugs. He was itchy and near tears when he got to the front desk. "Excuse me," he asked the man at the desk, "there's a package here for Murakami, marked urgent?"

The man turned around, and Hina jumped. "Chinen-kun, what the hell?"

Hey Say Jump's Chinen Yuri only smiled. "I'll be right back with your package, sir," he said, disappearing into the back room.

Hina jumped again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, seeing Toma's annoying face. "You again?! You even replaced my building staff? What is your problem?"

Toma just leaned against the counter. "Well, what if one of Sho-kun's spies was here and snatched up your scones first? After all the work your bandmates went through, you'd look pretty sad, Hina."

"Remind me to beat you to a bloody pulp someday. I don't have time for that right now."

Chinen returned with the box, labeled "Bonbon's Brownie Palace, Osaka." He held out a clipboard for Hina to sign. "Just need to verify your identity, sir."

"You know who I am," he snapped, reaching across the counter to slap his kohai's head.

Toma laughed. "Now now, he's just trying to do his job, Hina."

"He doesn't work here!" Hina screeched. "What did you do to the real guy who works here?"

Chinen and Toma only exchanged a conspiratorial smirk.

He pulled the box into his arms in irritation. "I hate you. Both of you."

When he turned around, Toma was still following him. "I did you a service, Murakami. I know you're going to the jimusho with those scones."

"So what if I am?" he spat, heading for his car. This was it, Hina had decided. He had his scones all ready for Johnny-san to sample. He'd worn his nicest army camo-patterned outfit. He meant business, damn it. Today was going to be the end of all of it, this whole damn conspiracy. He was going to wow Johnny-san with his Countdown proposal - a Countdown where Arashi was live via satellite from Antarctica for a grand total of ten seconds. They wanted to create a storm throughout the world, didn't they?

Toma let himself into Hina's passenger seat. "You need help. You think you're the only one with an appointment today?"

Hina turned the car on in a huff. "I will punch Sho-kun in the teeth if he tries to beat me in there."

"That's the Hina I like," Toma cheered him on. "I'll help you. Arashi's done me no favors."

"Whatever," Hina said, driving to the jimusho like a man possessed. He wasn't altogether surprised to see Matsumoto's car in the lot. He grabbed the box of scones and made sure to give Matsujun's bumper a swift kick with his boot before he and Toma headed inside.

He saw Matsumoto and Sakurai sitting right outside of Johnny-san's office door, and they both got to their feet as Hina approached. He was thrilled to see no sign of any baked goods - they'd come unprepared, just to try and cut Hina off.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, I have an appointment," Hina said, standing his ground.

"Oh really?" Sho asked, faking surprise. He checked his watch. "You didn't know?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Didn't know what?"

"That when you play the game of scones either you win or you die," Sho said ominously.

The office door opened, and it wasn't Johnny, but Julie Kitagawa. Hina nearly dropped the box.

"Murakami," Julie said. "I see you made it."

"Er...yes." He held up the box. "Is Johnny-san here?"

"Not yet," Julie replied. "He's still speaking with the lawyers."

"The...lawyers?" Hina asked.

And that was when Toma moved from behind him to stand beside Sho and Jun, and everything Hina thought he'd known to be true came crashing down around him. Toma smiled. "I think it's a good sign that he's come with the evidence though. I think it's a sign that he regrets what he's done," Toma said.

"The hell are you talking about?" Hina asked.

Matsujun shook his head. "Really though, Hina. You can't just flout the jimusho rules. You're a traitor to us all with the stuff you've pulled."

He wondered if the world had turned upside down. "What?"

Sho turned to Julie. "Julie-san, we came here today because we were concerned about Murakami. We hope that you won't be too hard on him."

"I don't know," Julie said, giving Hina the scariest look he'd ever received from anyone in management before. "Trying to sell agency property cheaply on Yahoo Auctions is a pretty terrible thing."

"Selling...what?" Hina gasped. "I didn't do anything!"

Julie stepped forward and took the box from him. "Is this the stuff?"

"It's...just baked goods," Hina admitted, but when Julie set the box down and opened it up, it was full of Kanjani8 merchandise Hina had never seen before. The scones that Subaru and Ohkura had sent had been replaced. "That's not mine!"

"Of course it's not yours," Sho-kun accused him. He took out a folder and handed it to Julie. "Which is why we're turning you in before you cause this agency any further embarrassment."

They'd gotten him - Matsujun, Sho, and even Toma had turned on him. Maybe Toma had never been on his side. They had it all there in front of him - the evidence (manufactured), the time stamps from Aiba's computer when Hina had been the only one in the apartment (faked), and records of transactions on Yahoo Japan (also faked).

As the security guards gathered around close and Julie Kitagawa looked at him with disgust, Hina knew he'd lost.

 

 **Chapter 8: The Pointy End**

Ueda Tatsuya had never been all that interested in baking. Or Countdown. So having to slave away in a hot kitchen surrounded by senpais and his bandmates both was an extra special level of hell.

They'd been baking for nearly nine hours, working the dough, putting it in the oven, taking it out and serving it to their special baking instructors. Ueda was surprised at Kame's ability to get SMAP to help them out, but he supposed that if anyone was going to whip KAT-TUN into shape in the kitchen, it would be them.

Even now as they were divided into three pairs, their senpai were watching with a wary eye. Kame was working with Koki as Kimura-san barked out orders for them to follow. Nakamaru and Jin were the worst as far as Ueda could tell, and Shingo-san was playing bad cop to Tsuyoshi-san's good cop - he suspected that neither Nakamaru or Jin had produced any scones worthy of Johnny-san's palate yet, though they'd both produced a lot of tears due to Shingo's anger.

And then Ueda himself was partnered with Taguchi under Goro-san's picky instruction. Ueda had hoped that Nakai-san would come to his rescue at some point, seeing as how they'd worked together before, but instead he was observing it all from a large chair in the center of the kitchen space they'd rented out for the day. This left Goro to dip his finger into Ueda's mixing bowl time and time again.

Without fail each time, he'd pick up the bowl and dump it in the trash. "Atrocious," Goro said calmly. "Start again."

It was a real waste of both food and mixing bowls, Ueda thought bitterly as he started over. Taguchi had finally gotten Goro's approval on batter and was just getting something in the oven for the first time in four hours. They were tired, all of them, but SMAP was relentless.

"You think you can just come back like you never left!" Shingo was bellowing in Jin's ear as poor Jin sniffled and tried to stir his batter. "You think you can come back and half ass this?"

"My daughters can make better scones in their Easy Bake Oven!" Kimura was berating Koki. "What the hell are you trying to do, poison me?"

At that moment, Ueda wanted to bake Goro-san into a scone. The sound of his screams inside the oven would surely make up for his nine hours of suffering that day. Even then, Goro was looming over Ueda's workbench. "What's this then?"

Ueda eyed the recipe. "I'm adding in three tablespoons of shortening."

"Can you read? That says two!" Goro said, picking up the recipe card and tearing it in half. "You're using this as a crutch. That's laziness. Make it from memory. Right now!"

Taguchi chuckled, and that was the worst mistake he could have made. Everyone looked on in surprise as Goro grabbed an oven mitt and pulled Taguchi's unfinished scones out of oven and flung them across the room.

"Dude!" Taguchi screamed, dodging the hot tray as it flew past him. "What is your deal?"

"My deal, little one, is your lack of interest in perfection," Goro said angrily, moving a stray hair back into its perfect place. "I'd rather eat feces than anything that would have come out of that tray of garbage you called scones."

Taguchi broke down in tears, and Ueda was close to punching the nearest person. Considering that Kame was standing right behind him, and he'd been the one responsible for this miserable baking boot camp, it was a tempting thought. But finally Nakai-san spoke up.

"Ten minute break," he announced, and all five members of SMAP exited the room, presumably for a smoke break and a chance to regroup and find a new way to shame KAT-TUN's baking ability.

Jin flung his mixing spoon at Nakamaru. "This is all your fault! It's all because you can't tell flour from sugar!"

"My fault, Akanishi?" Nakamaru seethed. "Am I the one who got a long, stringy hair in the batter?"

"My hair's not stringy!" Jin protested.

Koki was giving Taguchi a comforting hug, and Kame hadn't even moved away from his mixing bowl. Even as the group was falling apart around him, he hadn't given up on his baking.

"Remind me again why we can't just go to a bakery," Ueda complained.

"That's what I'd like to know," Koki said bitterly, and that was when Kame broke his spoon over his knee, holding up the two splintered pieces with a crazy look in his eye.

"This is for our own good," Kame said, his voice low and gravelly like he'd been smoking non-stop since he'd been a toddler. "This is so we can win. You think we can just give Johnny-san something store-bought and call it a day? Our senpais want us to win, and they're going to push us until we do."

"But do they have to be so mean?" Jin cried. "Shingo-san made fun of my Twitter!"

"Your Twitter _is_ pretty stupid," Nakamaru admitted.

"Hey!"

"Guys, don't fight," Taguchi mumbled.

"Well, Kame, it's not like your scones are any good either! You haven't slept in weeks so you keep making stupid mistakes," Ueda reminded him. "Maybe if you stopped trying to be completely perfect you wouldn't keep failing so spectacularly!"

"Oh, and you're putting in a hundred percent effort, are you, Tat-chan?" Koki fumed. "What the hell were you trying to do with the food coloring, make them look like vomit scones?"

"Koki, you didn't even know they made brown sugar!" Nakamaru screeched.

"Hey, take that back, sugar's supposed to be white!" Koki protested.

"That's racist!" Taguchi shouted.

"My Twitter isn't stupid!" Jin tried to scream over everyone.

"ENOUGH!" Kame screamed, and all five turned to stare at him. He dropped the two spoon fragments to the ground, a single tear rolling down his cheek. And the next thing he said surprised them all. "Fine. I quit."

They stood there, utterly stunned, as Kame left the rented kitchen, slamming the door behind him. Ueda finally broke the silence.

"Koki, you really didn't know that brown sugar exists?"

He dodged Koki's lazy punch, and they all grew quiet again. Kame had quit. Kame of all people! He felt sort of bad, and that's when Jin took off running.

"Kame, come back!" he shouted, leaving the room.

He and the others decided to follow. Nine hours of baking was still a long damn time, but even Ueda found a place in his heart that was willing to forgive Kame for being a psychotic slave driver. They had to try again, and this time they had to do better. They were stopped in the hall by the five members of SMAP, who were blocking the way through.

"Now," Nakai-san said, " are you five lazy asses going to try harder or not?"

"We will," Jin vowed. "I'll even tie my hair back."

"This is to prove you have responsibility. That you're willing to take on the challenge as a unified group," Tsuyoshi said kindly.

"To show that no matter what gets in your way, be it your senpai or your own inadequacies, you'll keep trying," Kimura said, and Ueda bristled a bit at the obvious backhanded compliment.

"So will you all try again? To show Kamenashi-kun that you're in it to win it?" Shingo asked.

"Yes!" the five of them said, and they saw Kame poke his head out from where he'd been hiding behind Shingo. He was sniffling, meeting each of their glances with watery eyes.

"We need to make the best scones ever, you guys. All six of us. Whatever KAT-TUN is now, whatever it used to be, this is a mission we need to complete together," Kame said.

Jin held out his hand first. "In it to win it."

Nakamaru placed his on top of it. "In it to win it."

Then Koki. "In it to win it." Kame. "In it to win it." Taguchi. "In it to win it!"

Ueda sighed, laying his hand on top of the others. "In it to win it!"

"K-A-T-T-U-N!" they all cheered, high fiving and hugging in a way that creeped Ueda out, but he participated anyway.

"That's the spirit!" Goro said. "Back to work!"

"Just for safety's sake, can you not throw stuff at me that's been in a 400 degree oven this time?" Taguchi asked.

Goro smiled eerily. "Only if you don't fail."

Taguchi frowned.

\--

Matsuoka Masahiro considered himself a popular senpai. He liked hanging out with his juniors, showing them ways to have a little fun without getting arrested, ensuring that his legacy would be looked upon favorably when he could finally retire. But even as much as he liked his juniors, the Tegoshi kid was starting to grate on him.

At first, it hadn't bothered him. Having new folks at some of the crazy TOKIO parties was fun, and it gave him ammunition and hangover stories to use against them later on variety programs. Tegoshi and Masuda had been agreeable, if a bit sycophantic. But now they were everywhere. Everywhere Mabo turned, he saw Tegoshi waving around that stupid friendship bracelet Nagase had bought him.

Sure, Nagase loved the kid since Tegoshi was his pet. As far as Mabo knew, Tegoshi cleaned Nagase's apartment, cooked Nagase's meals, and even rubbed his feet. But Nagase clearly didn't understand that Tegoshi wasn't doing it because he liked Nagase - no, Matsuoka could smell ambition coming off the kid like the smell of a Port-o-Potty on a humid summer's day.

And if anything, Tegoshi's presence was starting to interfere with TOKIO business. They had a new single to record, but Tegoshi had refused to let Nagase go to the studio. "Tomoya-chan's throat is sore today," Tegoshi had said. "But if you'd like, I'd be happy to come and sing his part."

It was interfering with variety filming. "Tomoya-chan doesn't think the script has enough lines for him today. Can we rearrange it so he can talk with the guest more?"

Taichi was already developing a nervous tic any time Tegoshi tried to worm his way into his good graces. He'd made Masuda into his own little servant boy just as a way to retaliate, even though they all knew Masuda was only just following Tegoshi's orders.

At least now they had a way to get rid of them, Mabo thought. They hadn't invited Nagase to the meeting on account of Tegoshi being likely to tag along, and the four of them gathered around the grill at the yakiniku place. "So," he said, getting things started, "Countdown."

Leader sighed. "I'm going to miss you guys! Maybe Tegoshi-kun could take my place though?"

Taichi visibly shuddered. "I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

Tatsuya smiled. "Kid sure does want to host though, I'll give him that. You think we should just tell him we talked to Johnny-san already?"

"You mean lie?" Taichi asked, almost giggling. "Oh, it would be just as priceless as watching Koyama's face as soon as the Goldschlager hit him."

But Mabo held up his hand. "I think I've got a better plan. And all it involves is one thing."

"What's that?" Leader asked.

Taichi beat him to it. Not all that surprising since Taichi had spies everywhere. "Let me guess. It involves scones."

"Scones?" Leader wondered.

Mabo slapped down the bakery menu for the place he'd taken Ohno and Aiba. "Scones, my friends."

Of course, the four members of TOKIO were too busy enjoying their yakiniku to see Tegoshi slipping out and into the night with a smile on his face.

\--

Maru thought it was kind of exciting as he, Subaru, Tacchon, and Yasu stood side by side and at attention as Yoko paced back and forth with determination. Nino had managed to slip away under Yoko's watch, and as far as they all knew, Hina was still at the jimusho getting yelled at for selling merchandise on Yahoo Auctions. Maru was pretty sure that Hina wasn't stupid enough to do something like that, but since Hina hadn't been allowed to go free yet, it did look suspicious.

That was why Yoko had ordered them all to gather together. Maru wasn't all that interested in declaring open war against Arashi since he did really like them, but he figured if Yoko had been willing to kidnap Nino, who knew what else he was capable of? Sadly, Ryo-chan hadn't been able to join them - he'd had more filming to complete, although with Ryo's attitude lately, Maru doubted he'd be all that interested in causing Arashi any trouble.

Yoko kept pacing, and Maru had to smile at his enthusiasm. "They will rue the day they declared war on Kanjani8!" Yoko was saying, fists clenching. "They're trying to steal Countdown away with their 'Arashi can do no wrong' smiles and their enormous piles of Arashi money. Well, I say no more!"

"No more!" Subaru shouted half-heartedly, and Maru could tell it was mostly for Yoko's benefit.

"They think they can put us in the hospital and try to kill us?" Yoko continued.

Tacchon elbowed Yasu. "Say something."

"What do you want me to say?" Yasu mumbled.

"No more!" Subaru cheered.

"They didn't really try to kill me though," Yasu said. "I think it was a prank..."

"They try to kill us. They stalk us. They escape our clutches as soon as our backs are turned!" Yoko cried.

"No more!" Maru said along with Subaru this time.

Yoko only got louder. "They think that they're the only people who can buy scones? They're wrong! Comrade Ohkura, Comrade Shibutani, you gave them what for!"

"No more!" Subaru shouted, and Maru was confused.

"Wait..." Maru said, "what's this about scones? You guys found scones?"

Tacchon coughed. "Nothing."

Subaru's eyes widened. "Right, nothing. Nothing at all."

He knew the pair of them were supposed to buy scones in Osaka, but Maru had never actually heard if they'd found anything or not. In fact, all Maru knew was that Shibuyan was supposed to bring him a DVD, but Maru thought it would be rude to bring it up during their Pending Battle Against Arashi rally.

"Can't we just go to the jimusho already?" Yasu asked. "I mean, if they're interrogating Hina, we should be there to back him up."

Yoko shook his head. "No, my friend. That's just what Arashi wants us to do. No, no, no, we have to hit them where it hurts first."

"In the nuts!" Subaru cried.

Yoko made a face. "Ew, no. We're not going near Arashi's nuts, please and thank you. We've got our own scone source, we just have to make sure we secure theirs as well. If they can't get any scones to Johnny-san, then their entire operation falls apart."

"No," Tacchon protested. "I'm not setting foot in another bakery. I gained 10 pounds!"

Maru thought he did look a bit rounder in the face. "Well, how do we find out where they're planning to buy scones?"

Yoko smiled. "Who really runs the show in the Arashi camp?"

"Sho-kun. And Matsujun, right?" Yasu asked. "They're the ones who are always standing and whispering their secrets when nobody else is watching. You know, how they're so much closer than anyone actually realizes and..." He suddenly looked rather faint, holding his head in his hands. "Oh god...oh my god..."

But everyone ignored Yasu's sudden distress because Yoko had moved to stand on his coffee table and strike a victorious battle pose. "Gentlemen, this time the kidnapping's gonna stick. Because this time we're going to catch ourselves a Matsujun."

\--

Massu paced back and forth outside of Nagase's hospital room. He knew he should have done something. As soon as Tegoshi had come to him with his "genius" idea of making scones to win Nagase's eternal love, he knew he should have put an end to it.

Instead he'd been there in the kitchen, watching as Tegoshi had tried making the sweet treats without a recipe. Adding way too much sugar than seemed necessary. And now Nagase had really bad food poisoning. Even out in the hall he could hear the man's groans of agony.

He froze as soon as he saw the other four members of TOKIO arrive, looking downright pissed off as they approached. "Masuda," Taichi said immediately, getting up in his face. "What did that kid do to Nagase? Some kind of death magic? Is he a warlock?"

"What? Death magic? No! Well, he just...he thought he could make Nagase dessert, you know, as a nice gesture in exchange for Nagase going to talk to Johnny-san about Countdown."

Yamaguchi grabbed hold of Massu's t-shirt. "That's a TOKIO decision, going to Johnny-san. Your friend has overstepped his bounds for the last time."

"Exactly," Matsuoka agreed. "Maybe it's time we separated those two for good, if you catch my meaning."

Sure, Tegoshi was ambitious, Massu thought, but he didn't want TOKIO to crush his dreams. He'd already had to stand by and see Koyama and Shige face disappointment - he didn't want to go through it all over again with another friend, even if it was over something as ridiculous as Countdown.

He blocked the hospital room door as best he could with his body. "Don't be mad, I'm sure Tegoshi's really sorry for what happened. Please, he loves hanging out with you guys! Please!"

But Matsuoka shoved him aside and pulled open the door. Even then, Nagase was in bed groaning, looking completely out of it as an IV pumped life-restoring nutrients back into his body. Tegoshi got up, throwing himself across Nagase's body almost pathetically.

"You can't take him away from me!" Tegoshi howled. "He's my sun and stars!"

"You're so creepy!" Taichi shouted. "Get away from him! He's ours, you little twit!"

Massu hurried into the room, tugging on Tegoshi's arm. "Come on, he's just dehydrated. He won't die if we go home now."

"No!" Tegoshi cried. "No, we're best friends forever! We have bracelets! WE HAVE BRACELETS!"

"Urrrrgh," Nagase moaned.

Joshima shuffled up to the bed, putting a hand on Tegoshi's shoulder. "Come along now, Tegoshi-kun. It's over, don't you think?"

"No!" Tegoshi howled, and it took four members of TOKIO and three orderlies to finally pry Tegoshi away from Nagase's food poisoned body. "No, Tomoya-chan!"

Taichi pulled Massu aside. "Your friend landed our front man in the hospital. You do realize this nullifies the contract, right? We're done here."

Massu nodded. "I understand," he said sadly.

He headed outside, finding Tegoshi sitting on the curb alone, the hood on his sweatshirt pulled up over his head. He sat down beside his friend. "I'm sorry," he said meekly.

"I just wanted to make him happy. I really do admire him, you know."

"I know."

Tegoshi sighed. "I can't go back. I can't go back to Kei-chan now, not after everything that's happened."

"No, you should probably leave him be for a while." He patted Tegoshi on the shoulder. "But so what then, we don't need TOKIO's help right? We can just ask someone else for help if you want. What about Kisumai? They just debuted, and we could all work together."

Tegoshi shook his head. "There won't be a Tegomasu Countdown, will there?"

Massu considered this. It was probably way too late in the game for it, not with everything he'd been hearing about Arashi and Kanjani8's battles. "Probably not, I'm sorry."

"But we'll find something else," Tegoshi said, seeming a bit cheered. "I just know we will."

 

 **Chapter 9: Game Over**

It helped that they'd been in the Arashi ni Shiyagare studio before. Arashi would never expect to be attacked on their home turf, and especially with Hina still in custody at the jimusho. Yoko could only imagine that Julie-san was using truth serum on him - Yoko knew the whole thing had been an Arashi conspiracy, and he just hoped that Hina could hold out under the pressure for a while longer. Things would be far more equal once they had Matsujun with them.

Yoko could have gone for Sakurai - he knew that Sho-kun tended toward the more cowardly way of things, but his family was kind of powerful, and Yoko didn't think it was worth messing with him, even when Countdown was at stake. Matsujun was the obvious choice.

He had Maru and Tacchon out in a car, ready to go to whichever bakery Matsujun specified as soon as they got him to cough up the location. That left him, Yasu, and Subaru inside the studio to capture the man in question. There were managers and staff everywhere, and it didn't help that Yasu was having some kind of mental breakdown episode at the same time.

"Matsujun..." he kept mumbling. "Matsujun and Sho-kun..."

"Yes, we know. They're evil, Yasuda, that's why we're here to put an end to it," Yoko complained. "Now be quiet, would you?"

Finally, they managed to sneak into Matsujun's dressing room. The three of them huddled beside the door, ready to pounce as soon as Matsumoto returned from filming. Tensions rose - Subaru was fidgety, Yasu was holding his head like he was having a migraine, and Yoko was losing patience.

But finally the door slid open. Jun was midway through a "thanks for all your hard work" to some random staff member when they sprang into action. Subaru got the door shut as Yoko tackled Jun to the floor, using the element of surprise to get the handcuffs around his wrists. Yasu's hands were shaking as he held the butter knife against Matsujun's face.

"One false move and we'll cut those fancy eyebrows off your face!" Yoko threatened.

Jun sighed. "It's over already, why are you bothering with this? Hina wouldn't back off, you took Nino, it's all fair in war."

Subaru looked as angry as he could manage. "I put those scones on Maru-chan's credit card! And you just used us so you could manipulate Hina!"

"Duh," Matsujun said with a roll of his eyes. "We knew from the beginning that he was the vital target."

"Why?" Yoko asked, offended. Surely he with all his skills and abilities ought to have been Arashi's greatest threat.

"Because he's not an idiot like you three!" Matsujun said. "I mean, you're holding a butter knife on Arashi right now."

"You'll tell us where your scones are coming from," Yasu suddenly said. "You'll tell us right now."

"Or what, Yasuda?" Jun asked. "You'll spread some butter on me?"

Subaru laughed at that, but Yasu was more serious than Yoko had ever seen him.

"No, Matsumoto-kun. I'll tell everyone your big nasty secret."

"Wait, Jun-kun has a big nasty secret?" Yoko asked, dumbfounded. Surely Aiba-chan would have told him about a big nasty secret years ago! What could it be? Yakuza connections? A secret tattoo on his ass? "What big nasty secret?"

"About...about the things Jun-kun would do for love!" Yasu said shakily.

Fear suddenly filled Matsumoto's face. Whatever dirt Yasu had uncovered had to be good, Yoko thought, even though he was annoyed that it hadn't come up in their strategy meeting. "For love?" Subaru asked. "Do you have a love child? Oh oh I bet that's it! You have a baby mama somewhere! Oooh, juicy! Scandalous!"

Yoko grinned. "The bakery, Matsumoto. Tell us where it is."

Yasu looked downright demonic. "Just how far would you go for love, Matsumoto-kun?" he asked, dragging the butter knife down Jun's cheek. Yoko had to admit, he didn't know Yasu had it in him, sweet kid that he was. "How far?"

"Okay!" Jun relented, pulling out his cellphone. "I'll give you the address, seriously!"

"Excellent," Yoko said. "Because we're going to buy the place out."

"With what money?" Jun grumbled, showing his phone so Yasu could get the address.

Subaru already had Maru on the line. "Hey Maru-chan, you still have your credit card on you?"

\--

Aiba felt kind of bad for Nino as he listened to Sho-chan's phone call. "You haven't hurt him, have you?" Sho was asking Yoko. "Because I swear, 99% of the work he gets is because of his face. He needs his face, Yokoyama."

He could see Nino's knuckles turn white as he gripped the steering wheel, driving the three of them to the jimusho where they planned to negotiate for Matsujun's safe release. Nino had had to stick it out at Yoko's apartment for days, and Sho and Jun hadn't done anything to rescue him, but within minutes of capture, Sho was already begging Yoko not to damage Jun's face. It just wasn't fair.

"Well so what if we falsely accused him," Sho was still arguing, "that's how the game is played."

They finally agreed to meet up outside Johnny-san's office, as neutral a territory as the two groups could manage. Aiba knew that some of the Kanjani8 members were off buying up all the scones, and Sho had allowed that part of the plan to fall by the wayside so long as Jun was returned to them unharmed. They all got out of Nino's car, Sho speed walking his way inside.

He really needed to work harder on being less obvious, Aiba thought, trailing behind with Nino. "I'm sorry about Yokocho," Aiba said to him. "Really. This whole thing got out of hand."

"I was complicit as much as you," Nino said. "You don't have to apologize to me."

"I guess we all just love Arashi in our own unique ways. But I think Countdown will be better if we let everyone else come along."

"It'll be good to get along with everyone again," Nino agreed. "I'm sick of fighting, and if everyone hates me I'll never get a free meal out of them again."

Aiba's face fell as soon as they walked in the door. Where he expected Yoko to be there with his hostage, instead they saw Leader at the front of an army. Okay, Aiba told himself, not quite an army, but he had the members of Kanjani8 surrounded by Hey Say Jump, Kis-My-Ft2 (on their skates, no less), and a gaggle of juniors he didn't really know that well. They all flanked Ohno like an honor guard as he scowled at Yoko, Maru, Yasu, Subaru, and Ohkura.

"Satoshi-kun!" Sho was pleading with him. "We agreed to a cease fire! I just negotiated it with..."

"You never said anything to me," Leader insisted, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm your Leader, maybe I should start acting like one. We've got them now. Countdown's ours, Sho-kun."

"Arashi's a bunch of liars, as always!" Yoko howled, stomping his feet. He held out his phone. "Maybe I should call Ryo-chan and have him shave Matsujun's head!"

"Nooooo!" Sho screeched, and the Kis-My-Ft members started to skate around their prey like vultures. "Satoshi-kun, stop!"

"Leader," Nino said, "this isn't you. Putting in all this effort."

"Oh, I know." Ohno sighed, setting down the tennis racket he'd seemingly used to rally his troops. "But I was doing this for Arashi. And for Jun-kun. I just got a little carried away, Maou flashbacks and all that." He bowed his head. "I'm really sorry."

Sho sniffed. "We've lost, okay?" He stepped forward, brushing juniors aside to grab hold of their Leader. "Look, Yoko, we all went too far. Why don't we go in to see Johnny-san? We can get Murakami off the hook and maybe our two groups could host together?"

"Together?" Yoko asked, still suspicious. "How do we know this isn't another of your tricks?"

Aiba hurried forward, dragging Nino along. "I want to host with you, Yokocho. I do."

Nino smiled weakly. "It's much easier to make fun of you if we're in Tokyo together. I want to host with Kanjani8, too."

Ohno ran forward and threw his arms around Maru. "Maru, I love you! I'm sorry! I want to host with you! All of you!"

"We want to host with you too!" Maru sobbed.

Sho looked a little sad after all his plans had failed, but he held out his hands in surrender. "Would you consent to co-hosting with us? All twelve of us, at the Tokyo Dome? Maybe winter is coming, but it's a winter I want to spend with you all."

The other groups started grumbling, wandering off now that Arashi and Kanjani8 had obviously buried the hatchet. Aiba was pulled into a group hug while Nino poked Ohkura in the cheek until he smiled. Yoko burst into noisy tears, getting snot all over Aiba's t-shirt as he lamented how they'd nearly ruined their friendship over something as silly as Countdown.

They were just about to go in and see Johnny-san when the door to his office opened, and the faces of Arashi and Kanjani alike were stunned to see a pleased looking KAT-TUN emerge from within, along with Akanishi Jin. But the biggest shock was finding Ikuta Toma arm in arm with them.

"Toma-kun?" Sho asked. "What's going on?"

Kame made a high-pitched little squeal. "Johnny-san loved our homemade scones! We're going to host Countdown!"

KAT-TUN and Akanishi went running down the hall cheering and chanting, high-fiving and celebrating as Kanjani and Arashi looked horrified.

"But...but we all just hugged it out!" Yoko protested. "That's not fair!"

And that's when Toma, who Aiba had always thought of as a nice guy, let loose a maniacal laugh that left the members of the two groups huddling in fright.

"Oh yes," Toma said, pointing at all of them in his gloating triumph. "Yes, yes, yes! Winter is coming, bitches, and you can just call me your new King of Countdown! That's right, me! Me! Sure, I have to share with KAT-TUN but you all have to watch me host! Me! I watched all of you jerks debut and have your concerts and be utterly adored, and I bided my time. And look at me now! Ha! See you in December, suckers!"

And off he went, catching up with KAT-TUN and offering them additional high fives as they departed the jimusho.

"Wait a second," Yoko asked, mouth agape. "Did we all just get pwned by Ikuta Toma?"

\--

Ryo clinked his beer bottle against Yamapi's, sighing. "Well, I'm glad all that shit's over. Really, it was not an ending I'd expected after all that."

Yamapi shrugged. "Oh, I knew it was going to happen."

"What?" Ryo asked. He'd done his best to stay the hell out of all the Countdown mess, and he thought out of everyone involved that he'd been involved the least. Aside from Yamapi of course, who had done nothing to stop NEWS from all the in-fighting and had done nothing to intervene in the Arashi and Kanjani fight, despite having grown up with most of them. "What do you mean you knew?"

Pi just laughed, holding out his phone. _Winter is coming_.

"Toma asked me to send you all those messages. I thought it was funny. Neither of us saw the whole 'Arashi gay scandal cover-up, Yasuda out the window' thing coming though."

"Wait, _you_ sent them?" Ryo asked, nearly choking on his beer. "From the beginning, it was you and Toma-kun?"

"I guess so," Yamapi admitted. "I felt kind of bad for him. I mean, it has to be rough to show up at Countdown, sing everyone's songs, and not be in a group. I just wanted him to be happy."

Ryo chuckled. "You are the biggest asshole ever," he said, smiling big.

Yamapi downed his beer and smiled in return. "Yeah, I know."

\--

It had been days since Massu had seen Tegoshi, and he was worried. He used his spare key to let himself into his friend's apartment. He understood why Tegoshi was so upset. Losing his self-proclaimed "BFF" Nagase, losing the ability to host Countdown, being so thoroughly rejected by TOKIO, alienating the rest of NEWS...it made sense.

But there was just something off about the way the lights were turned down low in the apartment, the way the shades were drawn. And then, of course, there was the maddening cackle he heard coming from Tegoshi's bedroom.

"Tegoshi? Tegoshi, are you okay in there?"

More laughter, and Massu felt a shiver go down his spine. Something wasn't right here. When he pushed open the bedroom door, he was horrified to see Tegoshi sitting naked on his bedroom floor, surrounded by several stuffed dragon toys that Nagase had won for him at DisneySea.

"Tegoshi?"

He looked up, cuddling one of the dragons. "Oh, hello Massu."

"Are you...okay?"

"I'm better than okay."

"That's good," he said uneasily, eyes looking anywhere but at Tegoshi's junk. "Not still upset about Countdown, I hope?"

"Countdown?" Tegoshi asked, getting to his feet and holding three of the dragon toys in his arms. "Oh, Massu, who needs Countdown? I mean, next year's going to be my year. I can just sense it. Everything's coming up Tegoshi."

"Okay," Massu said. "Wait, what?"

"Next year is 2012! The year of the dragon!" Tegoshi held up the toys triumphantly. "And it's going to be AWESOME!"

\--

THE END


End file.
